Blood and White Plums
by Crystal Snowflakes
Summary: Completed! My KT fic, up! This takes place after Kenshin kills Kiyosato Akira. Tomoe goes on a mission to kill the Hitokiri Battousai for stealing her happiness, but instead, finds another happiness. A sequel coming up!
1. Farewell, Edo

Chapter 1  
  
By Crystal  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
'February 8, 1864  
  
On a street in Kyoto, he became a person never to return. I am on a mission to kill the Hitokiri Battousai.'  
  
I closed my journal slowly. What troubled my brother and my father was that I didn't cry. Not a single tear came out. My sister was clueless, which I was glad of. I didn't want her to know any of this yet, not until much later, perhaps. This new information I obtained, I didn't believe any of it. I couldn't stop remembering Kiyosato's smiles. The only reason why I didn't cry and stayed calm, was probably because I didn't believe it. I didn't believe Kiyosato would die, not so fast, without even bidding a farewell to me. Certainly, he wouldn't die by the Hitokiri Battousai's sword, would he?  
  
Father told me Kiyosato was the only one that was able to scratch the Hitokiri Battousai. The legendary manslayer... I still don't believe the Battousai would end up fighting with Kiyosato, I mean... Kiyosato wasn't that much of an important person in the Bakumatsu, was he?  
  
Rumour has it that the Battousai had hair like the colour of blood, his eyes amber like the dying fire in hell. I still wouldn't believe it. Whatever anyone said, either about Kiyosato killed by the Battousai or the Battousai being real, I wouldn't believe. He was after the 'legendary' manslayer... But... I've got to find out myself. I have already planned to find out the truth. I will miss Enishi and Toshiko a lot. Father isn't always home. I home they'll be fine. I've got to say goodbye to Kao-chan too.  
  
I sighed and closed my eyes, massaging my temples. I was tired. Even though I didn't believe Kiyosato died, I couldn't shake the feeling that he really was dead. My breathing was becoming a bit harder every second. No matter how much I tried to deny the fact, truth was sinking in. Father would never lie to me, nor would his messengers.  
  
As my eyes were closed, I became picturing how the Hitokiri Battousai was. An old man with a slash on his left cheek, with crimson red hair, narrowed golden eyes, katana held up high, his clothes full of blood. Perhaps that's what he looked like, yet, it didn't feel right. I opened my eyes as I heard the shoji slide open.  
  
My sister, my dear little sister. In some ways, she looked a lot like me, except... she smiled a lot. Me? I've never smiled much, even father said so. I've been like this most of my life, I think. I don't think anything's wrong with it. People didn't become friends with me because I never smiled or laugh. They thought I was weird, I never really minded.  
  
Toshiko, such a little angel. She didn't have much friends, as I know. She didn't like going out, even at the age of two, most children would whine about getting out and throwing balls with the other children, she never did. She always stayed home, either with Enishi or me. "You'll grow up to be a beautiful woman." I said to her. She was smart and understood me. How a two year old understood me, I had no idea. She learned things fast.  
  
Tonight was probably going to be my last night here. I signalled Toshiko to come over and she obeyed. I didn't know if she was ever going to remember this, but... I taught her how to tie her hair up like I did. She needed help, but other than that, she had pretty much gotten the idea. My lovely sister, how I'm going to miss you...  
  
She yawned and I felt the corner of my mouth move up slightly, she was too cute, too adorable. I picked her up and carried her to her futon, and walked back. There, I saw Enishi staring intensely at me. Was it me, or did none of the Yukishiro friends get much friends? I only had Kiyosato and Miyaki who moved away a few weeks ago. Enishi? He never got along with any kids well, except Toshiko and I. And Toshiko? I still wouldn't know, she never goes out to play, but by the looks of it, she'll just be like her older sister and brother. Perhaps we like the solitude better.  
  
"Oneechan, what's wrong?" Enishi asked, at that moment, I knew he had seen the bag I packed for my journey from Edo to Tokyo. I looked at him for a second before I answered.  
  
"Enishi, I'm going away tomorrow." I replied calmly.  
  
"Demo, Oneechan!" Enishi protested as I cupped his face and spoke to him.  
  
"Enishi... I have something to do, this isn't something I can just forget because you don't want me leaving." I said. I think I said that a bit too cold, because the next second, with his head hanging, he slid open the shoji and walked out the door. I heard him murmur a farewell and slid it back close again.  
  
After I put my journal in my bag, I looked outside and caught myself gazing at the stars. I remember when my mother was alive, she said once, 'If the stars are pretty, it means you're happy, but if the stars are unlovely, then there's something wrong with you. The stars are always the same, being unlovely or lovely is what you yourself is thinking.' I don't know if that saying's true, but the stars tonight are not exactly the prettiest. Perhaps with the new obtained information about Kiyosato... Come to think of it, I haven't seen any beautiful stars since Kiyosato left.  
  
I felt my heavy eyelids start closing, it was time for bed. I have to leave tomorrow morning. I also have to say goodbye to Kao-chan, or she'll surely be mad at me for the rest of my live! That cheerful child, every time I saw her in the market with her mother, she would come running to me. I don't think I remember why she had first come running to me. Her mother and I would always have short conversations and I would stay at their dojo for a short while, then I would part with them.  
  
Ever since her mother passed away, I would visit her once in a while, and then one day, she said I was her best friend. She had no idea how I felt when I heard those simply words. Those simply words I had never heard anyone say them to me before. I felt warm.  
  
I could've bet I slipped into slumber the moment my head hit the pillow, I was so exhausted.  
  
Early morning... It was already seven, and I was planning on buying a few provisions for my journey, not that I ate much, mind you. But I didn't want to starve to death before I arrived. I had brought plenty of money, enough to last me for a very long time. I slid open the shoji door leading to Enishi and Toshiko's room. They were both sleeping so peacefully. I'd hate to wake them up. So, I didn't. I left, but before I walked out the house, I left a letter for my father in my room.  
  
Kao-chan should be awake, probably practising her swings. I heard from her father that she was going to master the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. I wish her luck. What I had said before about her awake and practising, I was right. She opened the dojo gates and hugged me tight. She was pretty sweaty, though I didn't mind at all. I was going to get sweaty at the end of the tiring day.  
  
"Ohayou Tomoe-san!" She said cheerfully. Always so cheerful, that's one thing I'll ever be jealous of. When she grew up, men would certainly love her cheerfulness.  
  
"Kao-chan." I greeted.  
  
"What's wrong, Tomoe-san?" She asked.  
  
I looked at her, a bit surprised that she saw through my emotional mask, I shook it off. "Kao-chan, I'm leaving today, so I won't be back in a very long time. I just wanted to bid you farewell."  
  
She looked at me wide eyed and hugged me, I hope she wasn't crying. I wouldn't want such a pretty face to cry. "Tomoe-san, when are you coming back?"  
  
"I don't know." I seriously didn't, perhaps I would never come back. After all, I am on a mission to kill the Hitokiri Battousai. How easy could that get? The most feared assassin in all Japan. He slashed people like a demon, without emotions. I heard from some people his glare could kill. After a little chat, I left the dojo with a crying and waving Kao-chan behind me.  
  
I bought all my provisions and as I left Edo, I turned around. It had always occurred to me that I won't be coming back to my hometown. I was against the Battousai. I would probably never have a chance to hear Enishi calling me 'Oneechan' again, never see Toshiko's beautiful smile again. I had already missed Kao-chan's laughing and her way of calling me 'Tomoe-san'.  
  
At one point, I thought about going back and forgetting about going to Kyoto. But... I knew sooner or later, I would go, because I wouldn't be able to stand not knowing the truth. I wouldn't believe anything until I found out myself, but somewhere deep in my heart, I knew it was true. I just wanted to delay the inescapable truth.  
  
I would be alone for the next week or two. Only my journal with me, the only problem would be, I would not have much to write about. Night quickly fell and I found myself gazing at the stars again, ever so sadly. My heart felt hurt. The stars... They really weren't that pretty tonight... Perhaps one night, the stars will be pretty? I wrapped the blanket around me. It was a cold February. Perhaps... perhaps... I feel sleep taking me over...   
  
Little did she know, she would be seeing the prettiest star a little later that year, somewhere in Otsu...  
  
Author's Notes: I hope you guys like this K/T fic, since I'm pretty proud of it =p Been working a while on it. So anyways, I hope you enjoy it. Please read and review! Arigatou, minna-san! I'm going to rewrite 'Crimson Puddles' and I'll be updating 'The Difference Between Rain and Tears' within one to two days. Sorry for the delay! 


	2. Journey to Kyoto

Chapter 2  
  
By Crystal  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
The next few days of my journey, I didn't nothing more than stare at the stars at night and nothing more than walk the road to Tokyo. I didn't exactly take the shortest way there. Always trying to delay the inescapable truth. I hated myself for trying to find comfort in a lie. I didn't like what I was doing, but what did I do to change it? Nothing.  
  
Walking all day long wasn't as hard as it seemed. For the first day or two, it was very tiring, but at the third day, I had begun getting use to the long walks I had to do. Even though I had begun getting used to it, I always rested for longer than I should. I did get tired, after all. I was human like everyone.  
  
I had begun to notice that a lot of travelers also took this road. They usually said something like it wasn't because it was long, but it was because it was the best road without robbers. I guess I choose the right road. My mind would often drift to either Kiyosato or I would try to picture the scene where Kiyosato was killed... If it was real at all. Here I go again, denying the fact. Well... Not exactly the fact since I haven't confirmed it, but...  
  
Night fell quickly and once again, I leaned on a tree in a sitting position, wrapping the blanket around me so I wouldn't get hypothermia in the middle of the night. It was freezing cold. Every night, it was like this, I might as well get used to this. I still had about a week of this journey until I get to Kyoto. I took a glance at the stars, thinking again what my mother had told me. Still looking the same. Not exactly pretty.  
  
It was stupid. I was hoping I would see pretty stars, but I was going to find the person who had supposedly killed my fiancée. And you call that a happy thing to do? I was so stupid sometimes. During these few days, I had often wondered how my family was doing. My angelic sister, my adorable brother and my cheerful little friend. Even my father who was rarely home. I wonder how Toshiko and Enishi would be doing without father.  
  
I sighed, if mother hadn't died... If only. If she hadn't died, father would never be going out late at night. I was the one they all depended on, but what happened when I left? Like this time? I had to admit, I was worried. Toshiko and Enishi were both young, and if father didn't stop going out late at night, they would both starve... Or maybe not. Enishi was pretty capable of taking care of himself and Toshiko. I think.  
  
I sighed again, I've been sighing a lot lately. It was late, I should sleep. As I fell asleep, I saw one last image. The first one was Kiyosato smiling his usual smile.   
  
* * * * *  
  
A week and two days has past. I'll be in Kyoto in an hour. It'll be hard finding the Battousai, even though he was probably the only Japanese in Kyoto to have red hair. Kyoto was huge. I should probably start with the most famous places. I haven't written in my journal for two weeks now, it's kind of weird, since back in Edo, I wrote in it almost everyday. But when I was traveling for the past few days, I really had nothing to write about. The only things I did those few days were walking, eating, sleeping... That's about it. I think.  
  
As I was walking on the streets looking at everything, the crowd in front suddenly started whispering to each other and walking to the side of the street. I looked directly in front. Men with uniforms... The Shinsengumi, I think. The group against the Hitokiri Battousai. I walked to the side like all the others and looked at the group passing. After that, this was the first time... The first time I've seen you.  
  
You were looking straight at me and as you saw me looking at you, you quickly turned your head away, averting my eyes. Red hair, cold amber eyes, slash on left cheek. I quickly walked away and hid away from you. A second later, you turned your head to look at where I was, but I was already gone. And you walked away. Should I follow you, or stay where I was? I choose to stay. It was so confusing. You were no older than fifteen, a child, carrying a wakizashi and a katana at the same time. A child, as a hitokiri. As child, as the Hitokiri Battousai. I was surprised.   
  
He might be a child, but I only needed a single glimpse of his eyes to know that he wasn't an ordinary child. A child that has lost his childhood, kind of like me. I always had to take care of my brother and was never 'normal' to other girls. His eyes had told me that he had had more experience in everything than kids his age. A child that lost his childhood wasn't too uncommon, a child that had lots of experience wasn't too uncommon, but what was uncommon... was his eyes. They were truly the eyes of a killer. Eyes colder than steel that seemed to pierce through your soul if you met his eyes with yours.  
  
What I needed to do was watch him from afar. Very far, or else he would probably sense me. I didn't want to be found out. I didn't want to die yet, not until I found out the truth anyhow.  
  
'February 23, 1864  
  
Today, I have finally met the Hitokiri Battousai. He was merely a child wielding a sword. Yet, he looked dangerous. His eyes cold, amber and emotionless. But what the rumours said about his blood coloured hair was wrong. It was a darker shade of red. Kind of pretty, if you ask me. Such unusual hair though. I must be leaving now, I'm tired and I've rented a room in a inn. I'll be following him tomorrow morning.'  
  
I sighed again, closed my journal and rolled open the shoji leading outside to the balcony. Looking up at the shining stars... They kind of looked like they were mocking me. Their eyes twinkling in amusement and they were mocking me. How rude. Mocking me about what? Maybe about thinking about my fiancée's killer for the past hour or two? I don't know, even though I did have to admit. The stars did look lovelier than last nights'. Was mother really right? About the stars unchangingly eternal? Just that your heart decides if it was pretty or not? If she was right, it scared me. I had just met the Battousai, and already, the stars were starting to get beautiful. I must be joking myself.  
  
But, it did make sense. My mother's speaking about the stars, I meant. Sometimes, I wonder if I had become crazy. All I seemed to think of was Kiyosato, the Battousai and the stars. I really should stop thinking and looking at the stars... I really should.  
  
Yet, I stayed there for a long time, gazing up unblinkingly. Really, if someone saw me right now, they would most likely think of me as a nutcase, looking at the stars unmoving for the past ten or twenty minutes. I knew I should stop watching the stars and go to sleep, but I didn't have the heart to tear my eyes away from the stars. They were truly beautiful tonight. Maybe it was the only time they were beautiful for my whole life.  
  
Half of myself says I should stop gazing at the stupid stars and sleep, the other part of me says I should keep gazing at the lovely stars until my eyelids felt heavy. I needed sleep, or else I would be tired tomorrow, but I wanted to stay exactly where I was. It was rare I saw stars so lovely. Perhaps it would be the only time I did. Finally, I had decided I had stared at enough stars for tonight. The stars wouldn't be going anywhere, they would stay for me, would they?  
  
I slipped into my futon and after that, what I found out was, I was staring at the ceiling now instead of the stars. The truth was, I wasn't tired, that's why I couldn't sleep. Staring at the ceiling seemed like a pretty fun idea. I was warm in my futon and if I stepped out, it would take me a while to warm it up again, and the cold wind outside wouldn't help warm me up. I had no idea how I managed to sleep outside all those nights.  
  
Sometimes, I still wonder what life would be if mother hadn't died. We would be having a great family, father, mother, Enishi, Toshiko and I. Maybe along with Kiyosato if we were married. I felt a smile tugging at my lips when I thought of the cute boyish smile Kiyosato would give me when we were little kids. He had it on his face sometimes too, when he did something funny and foolish. Oh I miss him so much!  
  
If only, if only the Hitokiri Battousai never existed. We would all be happy. I would still be in Edo, maybe waiting for Kiyosato to come back from Kyoto to Edo, or maybe he wouldn't have left for the war at all. I certainly wouldn't be at this inn right now staring at the ceiling. Plain white ceiling, not that I minded. Staring at the white ceiling made me think of snow.  
  
I took a deep breath. Thinking of this wouldn't help me at all, in fact, it would make me miserable. I should think of keeping my mind on the mission. To kill the Battousai. But... sometimes, I wonder if I could actually succeed. He seemed like a child. If only he wasn't the Battousai... Or maybe if he only didn't kill Kiyosato.  
  
All I know was, before I fell asleep, thoughts of everything of my whole past popped through my head at least once before I actually felt tired. By the time I fell asleep, I think I have been staring at the ceiling for at least an hour. It felt like an hour anyhow. Yet once I was tired, I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer, not even for another little second. I wanted to take a little peek at the stars before I fell asleep, since I left the balcony shoji opened a bit. I wanted to take a peek, afraid it might not be as pretty tomorrow. I didn't have enough strength though. I was so weak once I was tired...  
  
Tomorrow... Tomorrow... I would follow the Battousai and when the right time comes. I'll kill him. This is my promise to my fiancée. Then I added stubbornly, if Kiyosato is dead, which I highly doubt. I am so stubborn sometimes.  
  
Author's Notes: Whee! Another chapter done. The Difference Between Rain and Tears for chapter 18 is half done. I might not be updating any fics this weekend. I have a new project due for this week, so yeah... Anyhow, I hope all of you enjoyed my first chapter and my first K/T fic.  
  
I thank DiaBLo, Shuro, XenoMark, Yui Shinomori, Tomoe Ayanami and AnimeFreak for reviewing my first chapter. Arigatou!~ 


	3. Buckets of Water

Chapter 3  
  
By Crystal  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
'March 1, 1864  
  
I've been following the Hitokiri Battousai for a week already. I can't get too close. He has really sharp senses. I almost blew my cover today... I really need some sake... I'm tired of following him everyday. Tired. Every time I see him, I can't imagine him, a child killing Kiyosato. I couldn't. I've never seen him kill, and I hope I won't. Anyways, I'm going out for a drink.'  
  
I tucked my journal in my sleeve. I think it's raining outside, taking my shawl and umbrella, which is all I own, I walked outside. Definitely raining... I walked slowly to my destination and when I stepped in, what I saw shocked me. The Hitokiri Battousai, sitting there, sipping sake. He surely looked like he wasn't enjoying it. His brows would knit together sometimes. I watched in amusement for a few minutes, he probably didn't like the taste of sake. I sat down next to him with my back faced to him.  
  
I ordered a bottle of sake and as I was drinking, two drunks walked up to me. They said something like 'Hey there, baby!' to me, which I didn't pay much attention to. I wasn't actually calm, but I managed to keep my face devoid of any emotions.  
  
"We're in charge of the Aizu Ishin shishi!" I heard one of the fat one say with pride. I looked at him, disgusted. "We kill for lowlifes like you day and night!" I didn't hear the next sentence he told me. I was too busy glaring at the both of them. Stupid idiots. The Aizu supported the current government while the Ishin shishi were the revolutionists. God, I'll do anything to get away from these morons.  
  
"Aizu's with the shogunate, you idiots." I turned around to face the Hitokiri Battousai. His voice... His voice was devoid of any emotions. It was cold. I felt a shiver run down my spine at those steel cold eyes. So this child was really the Hitokiri Battousai... I don't know why, but I felt saddened by the fact. A child, as young as he, had to do all the dirty work of the Ishin shishi.  
  
The two drunkards must've said something, because the next second, the red haired child stood up and said, "Actually, you guys are lucky to be getting away with your lives. If you had drawn your swords I would have killed you."  
  
After a few more exchange of words, the two samurai turned around like scared rabbits. What surprised me was that the Battousai bowed respectfully to me and apologized. He then picked up his daisho and left the restaurant.  
  
I quickly left a few coins for my bottle of sake and hurried through the streets to where Iizuka-san said the Battousai was going to be. Rain... As I stepped around the corner, what I saw shocked me more than anything that had happened tonight. The Battousai... had... just at the moment... sliced someone in half. I surprised myself by staying calm. It was so weird. I did not feel fear at seeing a person sliced in half. You then spun around fiercely and saw me.  
  
"I came to thank you for what happened back there," I started, feeling a bit dizzy. Probably from the sake. I saw your intense amber eyes on me. You were still looking at me suspiciously, then I said something that had made you drop your chain sword. Or should I say, the man-sliced-in-half's chain sword. "You...remarkably made it rain. Rain of blood." I had said. I saw your eyes widen and then, I saw darkness. The last thing I saw, or should I say, I heard, was your footsteps running forward to catch me. I didn't know if you succeeded or not. I didn't even stay conscious enough for another second to see if I had hit the floor or not.  
  
* * * * *  
  
I woke up in a futon, staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling. The blood stained clothes were still on me, and I walked down the stairs. As I did, I saw women dressed in purple kimonos carrying trays to rooms.   
  
A slightly older woman stopped in front of me, introduced herself and said, "So you're the one Himura brought in last night." I nodded and looked at her high stacked trays. "What's your name?"  
  
"Yukishiro Tomoe. Okami-san, do you need help with the trays?" I asked, the trays seemed ready to fall any moment.  
  
"If you want to help, I'll get you a job here." Okami-san told me and I agreed. I had already served several trays to a few people and had already figured out that this was the Ishin shishi's base. As a passed the room I had slept in last night, I heard the door open, but didn't look back, waiting for him to call for me.  
  
"Hey." I heard him say. His voice sounded nothing like a child, devoid of all emotions. I turned around. "What are you doing?" He asked.  
  
I looked at him while balancing the tray I was carrying, "Can't you tell by looking?" I asked.  
  
He looked at the trays, "You're helping around in the kitchen."  
  
"Hai, I'm sorry, I must've caused you some trouble last night while I was drunk." It was a miracle I've been staying so calm around the most feared killer in all of Japan, and actually having a conversation with him. It scared me. He asked my name and I replied, then I turned around to serve the people before the trays fell.  
  
Later that morning, he called me up to his room. "Just forget about everything that happened last night and leave."  
  
"Is it a trouble for me to stay?" I asked.  
  
"Your family will worry."  
  
For a second there, I was surprised he would actually think about my family. "If I had a family and a home to go back to, I wouldn't get drunk alone at night." I replied. I wasn't lying, in fact, my home and family was all the way in Edo. I suddenly caught glimpse of the scar, "Has the bleeding stopped?" I asked kindly. He just turned around and ignored my question. I took that as a yes, "Good."  
  
He walked away to where his stack of books were while I was sitting down on the floor. He then walked back and put down my tanto on the floor. "This is yours, isn't it?" I nodded. "Kyoto's a dangerous city. This tanto won't do you much good. Hurry and go home. You should look for a place where you won't need this." This boy, the Battousai, no, Himura, Okami-san had called him, had actually cared for me?  
  
I was curious just to see what his reaction was going to be, "An assassin, right?" at the corner of my eyes, I saw his shocked look. "Nothing." I stood up and continued doing chores for the day.  
  
'March 2, 1864  
  
Spring is almost over... The Battousai, I found out is nothing but a child wielding a weapon, I fainted due to the sake last night and fell unconscious in front of him. Himura Kenshin is his name. He brought me to the Ishin shishi hideout. Now I will be able to kill him...'  
  
* * * * *  
  
It's actually not the first time I've had a decent conversation with Himura. I'm just having one right now. I was enjoying it pretty much too. But then, Iizuka-san had appeared, with something like a black envelope. Himura-san's eyes had soften when I talked to him, I saw, but when he caught sight of the envelope, his eyes hardened. It was even worst than the day I first saw him at night.  
  
Night was nearing and he isn't back yet, so I opened my journal and once again, began pouring my heart out about everything. What I had realized was, I had written less and less about Kiyosato. The most I had written about was the scar on Himura-san's left cheek... I heard the door opening... And then the sound of water being poured out from a bucket.  
  
'April 18, 1864  
  
Time has flew by since I last saw home. Everyday, I've been doing all my chores. Himura-san...he's...not what he seems, he isn't cold-blooded at all. He came from a mission tonight, and he's still washing his hands. I hear the water now, I think it's been his eighth bucket tonight. The scar Kiyosato gave him...It's still bleeding. It bleeds after every assassination...'  
  
I walked up to him as he looked like he was daydreaming and when I came at a closer range, he instantly turned back to the cold heartless hitokiri. "Wash your face before your hands." I held out a towel for him, seeing the line of blood rolling down freely on his cheek.  
  
"You're still awake?" He asked me.  
  
I nodded slightly, "Even in separate rooms, I get worried whenever you leave." It was surprising how real it sounded, but it didn't only sound real, I did mean it. I do worry about him whenever he gets a black envelope. I'm certainly not dumb of a woman, I know what it is by the way he looks at it. It despises it, hates it. But why does he still kill for the revolutionists? For the Ishin shishi?  
  
I stopped thinking when his cold voice cut through my thoughts, "Don't bother with me." Even thought I wasn't scared of him at all, I would always shiver inwardly. I didn't know someone's voice could be so indifferent and... cold. He was looking at me with hatred. Somehow, I knew that hatred wasn't directed to me, and I felt relieved. I didn't care whether I was on him bad side or not, but... I mean, of course I care if I'm on him bad side or not! I'm on a mission! God I'm a moron sometimes.  
  
"I thought I almost dreamed the night was raining blood." He didn't do more than look at me for a second or two, "Oyasumi nasai." I turned around and retreated back to my room shared with all the people working there.  
  
Before I slept, I looked out to the sky and let a soft sigh out. The stars looked horribly wrong and yet, they looked kind of pretty. Even though I was staring at the stars, I could have sworn I was downstairs watching Himura-san scrub his hands. I could hear every bucket of water poured on his hands and face. Maybe... just maybe... I was healing...  
  
Author's Notes: Sorry I didn't update in such a while, the only reason why I woke up at 6 today was of nightmares, or else I wouldn't be updating this. *sighs* I'm having a math test on Thursday and then science project due on Thursday and so on... Aaaanyhow, I hope you liked the chapter. ^^ Gomen it took so long!  
  
Tiian - Tomoe doesn't have a younger sister, Toshiko's my original character, who shows up in all of my fics. And yes, Kao-chan is Kaoru. Thanks for the compliment about the stars ^^  
  
Shuro - I just happen to have a lot of free time on my hands, and I sleep extremely late and I don't sleep much, which kind of explains a lot of stuff ^^ Me got LOTS of free time. (Example today, I slept 5 hours)  
  
XenoMark - Thanks, you're always the one I can rely on compliments and reviews ^^  
  
Animefreak - There it is, this chapter, hope you enjoy it!  
  
Yui Shinomori - I love Kenshin/Tomoe too, she seemed better for Kenshin... No offence to K/K fans, but I loooove K/T.  
  
DiaBLo - And I can rely on your for correcting my mistakes, thanks! And yes, I'm terrible with this Japanese stuff. lol 


	4. Bloodstained Hands

Chapter 4  
  
By Crystal  
  
Author's Notes: I've changed a few things from the anime and manga here.  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
Weeks had gone by, and weeks turned into months. I had gone to the flower shop's today to buy flowers for Okami-san. There was only Irises left, and it was the last bouquet, which left me no choice than to buy it. "It's raining again." Okami-san said, I nodded, "It sure rains a lot."  
  
I gave her the Irises, "This was the flower shop's last bouquet." I told her. The Irises smelt nice, and when I gave Okami-san the bouquet, I could still smell the scent of Irises on my kimono.  
  
"The rainy season makes it hard for flowers to blood. At least there are Irises." She told me, it's not like I really cared a lot about Irises, but I guess I didn't mind. I had nothing else to do but listen to her talk, and I wasn't very talkative anyhow. I asked her what else there was to do and she pointed to the potatoes and told me to peel them. "They smell like you... Irises smell strongest in the rain, not in the sun." Okami-san said, after I had started peeling the potatoes.  
  
I couldn't help but think there was a hidden meaning to that saying, but when I looked at her for help, she just looked back without helping much. Rain... She'll tell me sooner or later anyhow... I hope anyways.  
  
* * * * *  
  
As I walked past the room I had slept in for the first night, I saw Himura sleeping there peacefully, in a sitting position with his katana popped up on his shoulder. I had noticed that he usually slept like that, I wonder if his back ever hurts. Sleeping like that must be a pain in the back.  
  
He looked so peaceful. So much more peaceful than he was awake. Right now, his features were soft and relaxed, like a child should be, but when he wakes up, his eyes are so intense even I have trouble looking directly at his eyes sometimes. A child... I sighed silently and walked to my room and took out my shawl and put my shawl around him. As I walked to him, I saw a top on the floor and allowed myself a small smile.  
  
It was impossible that the Hitokiri Battousai was him. The thought itself was scary. A child like this... could be killing hundreds of people. Even a child can kill people... ...But... I reached out to touch the scar Kiyosato had given him and his eyes snapped open and reached for his katana. I gasped as I felt the blade near my throat. I was going to die... But at the last second, he knew what he was doing. And pushed me away from the blade, making me collapse on the floor sending the books flying in every direction.  
  
"Sumanai." He said, standing up. He sheathed his sword and then noticed my shawl on his left arm.  
  
I looked away for a second before saying, "It's getting cold… You were near the window. He apologized again, not that it was formal. I was starting to think that this boy didn't have any respect, speaking so informally, but thinking back... He WAS a child, after all. I kneeled down and started picking up books, "Have you read all these?" I asked, curiously.  
  
"No... no one. They're perfect for falling asleep. A hitokiri doesn't need to study." He said, and I felt mad, for whatever reason. A hitokiri doesn't need to study, what kind of bull crap was that?! Whoever taught him that was an idiotic moron, that's what I would say. Of course, I wouldn't dare say that out loud.  
  
"Are you going to continue killing people forever? The person who hasn't found a safe place is you..." I was concerned about him, and I knew he knew I was concerned. A child as a hitokiri, that was already rare, but the Hitokiri? THE Hitokiri Battousai? Sometimes, I really found that unrealistic, even now, even after I've seen him cut a person in half.  
  
"I've been doing that since I was little. I even saw people killed in front of me." He replied, indifferent. Somehow, I knew he didn't actually feel how he sounded, and I pitied him, although I didn't show anything. Men hated pitying, I snorted inwardly, use my father as an example.  
  
I looked at him straight in the eye, "So you're going to continue killing..." I wonder if the people killed in front of him was his family or any close friends, because if it was, that would be horrible.  
  
"That's my role. It won't last long. I don't need you worrying about me." He replied to me, looking back at him. His eyes were softening.  
  
'That's my role.' What kind of bull crap is that? A child playing a role as a hitokiri and trying to kill because they want to create a new era? Though I think it's still impossible, I might be wrong, but if someone has to do that, it doesn't have to be you! You're, a child! Only fifteen! Out loud, "But..."  
  
"I'm a killer who makes it rain blood. I don't wish for you to know the smell of blood." You know what I wanted to say, Himura Kenshin? I wanted to say that I already know the smell of blood. That very night you had killed in front of me, I had already known the smell of blood well. That night you sliced that body in half right in front of me, staining blood all over my kimono and my face, I already knew the smell of blood. What you're saying is complete crap.  
  
I controlled my anger, with my still calm and cold mask on my face, "I'm sorry to have interfered in your affairs. Obviously I could never understand. Excuse me." I said, and hurried out the room. I didn't want him saying stuff like that about himself. He's saying it like he doesn't deserve anything, not even happiness. But he do!  
  
"Tomoe." I heard him say, and I turned around. It was the first time Himura-san said my name without a honorific. "Arigatou." He said, closing his eyes, showing me that he was sincere. Even without closing his eyes, I knew he was being sincere. Nonetheless, I was still shocked. He had obviously felt my anger and even if he had no idea what was happening, he had said thank you. And him, the Hitokiri Battousai had thanked a woman, like me.  
  
I was still shocked, but a second later, I composed myself and walked out the door. Now, if only I remembered what I was thinking earlier on, before Himura-san had called my name. Had I just said that Himura-san deserved happiness? If I did, I am so messed up right now.  
  
'May 4, 1864  
  
He tries to be unemotional, but I can see through him. He is human like all of us. Just like all of us. He's a child, a child that has lost his innocence long ago. You can't blame him, having to be the Ishin shishi assassin, having a black envelope coming almost every two days.  
  
He slept by the window today... I thought he'd catch a cold, so I covered him with my shawl, but... He woke up and held his katana to my throat. I can't help but think how bad his childhood was. He probably never had any parents, or else he wouldn't have turned into the Hitokiri Battousai.  
  
He had actually said thank you, I really was shocked. Really. Sometimes I don't know what to think of him. Should I think of him as the cold Hitokiri Battousai that has amber eyes, or should I think of him as Himura Kenshin, a child that is lost in the world, a child with amethyst eyes that are warm... Like today when he said thank you? I don't know anymore. I don't know, Kiyosato. What should I do?'  
  
I flipped my journal closed, and stared out at the stars like I had many times done during the past two months that I've been here. In the inn with the Battousai. I usually would be asleep at this time of the night, but once again today, Himura-san had gotten a black envelope from Iizuka-san. I can't help but feel a tinge of anger towards Iizuka-san. Can't he see Himura-san is suffering? Can't he see he's human like all of us? Can he see how much killing hurts him?  
  
Once again like many times during the past two months, I heard the inn door roll open and I stayed there for a few minutes until I heard water being splashed again. I walked down slowly as I have many times after his assassination. This time, he didn't lift his head up like he usually did when I came in. He didn't speak and went scrubbing away at his hands. I don't think he even noticed me coming in. And I was right. I stood there for how long, I didn't know, but all I knew were, his hands were getting bloody from all the scrubbing.  
  
I instantly walked up to him and put my hands in the cold pinkish water and held both his hands tight. "Don't scrub anymore, Himura-san. They're starting to bleed." I was looking at the top of his head, he wouldn't even lift up his head. "Look at me." I ordered, and he slowly obeyed. The moment I caught a glimpse of his eyes, I lost my cold mask. His eyes were lifeless. And when I say lifeless, I mean lifeless. They were dull, they lost their intense and lively glow. "Himura-san..."  
  
He cut my speech off immediately, "I killed an innocent by-passer." His voice was cold, he was gritting his teeth. I had immediately begun to think of Kiyosato. When he had killed Kiyosato, did he act like he was acting right now? As I heard, Kiyosato was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Was his reaction like this after that night's assassination? Two months ago, I could've really cared less what his reaction was after killing my fiancée. Last night, I would've barely imagined the Hitokiri Battousai acting this way after killing some innocent by-passer. Right now, I would've given anything to see the cold hitokiri. Thee mask he used. I didn't know how to deal with the person standing in front of me.  
  
What I had done, I think surprised the both of us. Without much of a second thought, I wrapped my arms around him, saying words of comfort and understanding. Sometime after that, which felt like a whole century, he calmed down and returned to his old self. He had once again thanked me and retreated back to his room. I dumped the blood filled water and walked up tiredly to my room and fell asleep once my head hit the pillow. I was exhausted. The daily chores, then staying up late, then even comforting the Battousai.  
  
The last though that came through my mind was, 'Was Iizuka-san's plan succeeding? Would I actually be able to kill him?'  
  
Yui Shinomori - Thanks, I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
  
XenoMark - Thanks, I'll update it another time this week, I hope. Pretty busy with school work, but I'll try.  
  
AnimeFreak - Arigatou! *Hands AnimeFreak a tissue*  
  
Misao - There's one or two K/T fic on my favourite's list, maybe you can check them out ^^  
  
DiaBLo - Yeah, the main point for the first few chapters was to do the manga/anime whatever you watched, but I'm changing a bit of it so it's going to be K/T. Like the last thing I wrote on this chapter.  
  
Shuro - Thanks, it was just I woke up in the middle of that night and couldn't go back to sleep, so I stayed up and watched some animes. ^^  
  
Author's Notes: I'm also taking a little break from 'The Difference Between Rain and Tears' Thank you all! 


	5. The Gion Festival

Chapter 5  
  
By Crystal  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
I am in the kitchen holding my tanto when I felt someone behind me and hid it inside my obi. I waited until the person greeted me to turn around.  
  
"Sorry to bother you at night." Katsura-san... what would have he wanted with me so late at night?  
  
"Katsura-san..." I turned around.  
  
"You don't have to wake anyone. I came to speak to you." He said, and I felt my heart froze. Is it because he found out I was a traitor? Did he find something suspicious? Or is this just a normal chat? I hoped it was the latter, which it was. I sighed instantly. I served him sake while he spoke.  
  
"Letting a child wield a weapon?" I asked, I still held my mask on, but beneath, I was boiling mad. They dare let a child weild a weapon and kill so many? Though I was secretly thankful that Himura-san hasn't gotten a black envelope for the last few days.  
  
He ignored me and continued, "In my homeland, there's a man named Takasugi. He's a good man but sometimes he has a tendency to enjoy behaving wildly. But he has a good woman who controls his behavior like a sheath holds a sword. Her name is Uno." What did this have to do with me?  
  
"A sheath?"  
  
"Will you become a sheath?" At this time, I didn't know what to say, to become a sheath for a man. And that man wasn't Kiyosato? "The sheath to hold the blade Himura." I felt my eyes widen a bit, but I think enough for Katsura-san to see. The sheath for Himura-san... Does this mean... Iizuka- san's plan is working? I know I should be happy, but... I'm not. It feels like the floor has swallowed me up. I'm confused. I want to revenge my fiancée, but I feel bad about it. I really hate myself sometimes.  
  
"Why me...?" I asked, I was confused.  
  
"I don't want to get in his way. Sometimes a believer causes tragedy. He needs a good sheath to hold him back." He then stood up and left me in that sitting position, thinking everything over again.  
  
'June 18, 1864  
  
'I don't know what to make of this... He hasn't gotten a black envelope for a few nights, and I can't help but feel relieved. It's definitely nothing to do with someone else dying... It has to do with this, child, washing himself and scrubbing his hands raw after each assassination. I can't stand and watch him like this. Like last time... On May 4, he came back from an assassination. I had to stop it. It was scary seeing his eyes so dull.  
  
Katsura-san has offered me to be Himura-san's sheath. I don't know if I can't do it. He says someone has to hold the Battousai in, and I am able to do that. I don't know, I'm confused, I was suppose to be on a mission to kill this man. But... I can't anymore, I had plenty of chances, when he sleeps. I could've killed him and left. But... why can't I do that?'  
  
* * * * *  
  
Today was no different, I was doing chores. Helping around the kitchen, sweeping the floors. Not that I hated it... It was a way to kill time. I was still pondering over what Katsura-san told me a whole month ago... A sheath... for the blade Himura. I heard the shoji roll open. "I'll be finished soon." I said.  
  
"I appreciate it." I heard Himura-san say.  
  
I shrugged a little, "It's my job. I am one of Okami-san's housekeeper." I said calmly. "What is it?" I asked, usually he wouldn't talk to me even though I was here sweeping the floor.  
  
"Nothing." He said, as he stood next to me.  
  
I stopped the things I was doing and kept my face calm, wondering how I should say this. I had time from Okami-san and I wanted to go out. Going out by myself would be very boring anyhow... "If you don't mind, would you go out with me tonight?" There, I said it. Now I needed to hear his response. Instead I heard an 'eh?' from him. I snorted inwardly, great job Himura-san. "I got some time off from Okami-san. Sometimes... I want to relax outside..." I paused. "...but it's lonely by myself." It was true... I didn't mind being alone, since I was alone ever since I was born, but sometimes, I think it's nice to have someone else's company.  
  
"I see..." I heard you say. I felt butterflies in my stomach. Damn me, he just said he was going out with me for one night. Probably pitied me because I didn't have any friends. It was true, the only person I talked to was him... I haven't talked to Iizuka-san for a while, I hated even seeing him. I don't think I felt too good about the whole Killing-Himura thing, not anymore anyhow. Everytime I saw Iizuka-san, he would give me this smirk I hated so much. He really wanted Himura-san dead... And so do I... right? I hated having doubts...  
  
After finishing my chores, I changed from the violet kimonos into my usual plain white kimono with my light blue, almost purple shawl. I met Himura- san at the entrance of the inn and went to the place where I had, for the first time been so close to him. We both stepped in, it was brighter than the last time I came in, or maybe it was just my mood. I was slightly happier than last time. It was festival time after all. He ordered two bottles of sake and talked for a little while before it arrived.  
  
He tasted the sake and made some sound, sounded as if he was thinking, and he looked at the sake weirdly. "Something wrong?" I asked, then refilled his cup.  
  
"It's been a while since sake has tasted good." He told me. Maybe he didn't go to good restaurant to drink sake. Or maybe it was because he didn't like sake and started liking just now, or maybe it was festival time?  
  
"Because it's festival time." I said. The other two didn't really sound right. First was already crossed off, he came here last time I saw him. Second was crossed off too, a hitokiri usually knew how to drink sake. I'm thinking too much sometimes. Who cares why he doesn't think sake tastes great?  
  
...I do. I'm an idiot, I know.  
  
"I guess so." I heard him said. Well, I'm right then, aren't I? Even he said so.  
  
"I'm opposite from you... I don't drink as much as I do." While people drink more and more, I've been drinking less and less.  
  
He refilled our cups and looked up, "Has the alcohol lost its taste?"  
  
I smiled a bitter smile and shook my head, "No, unlike before, I've just lost the strength to put up with alcohol." ...After the incident with Kiyosato...  
  
"Put up with?" I heard him ask, a bit curious.  
  
I wanted to change the subject so much... to change the subject to something that didn't pain me as much, and I saw his scar, "Has the wound on your cheek stopped bleeding?" I asked, not much help. Kiyosato did, after all created that line.  
  
"I'd forgotten about it." He said, coldly. I can't help but think that everything I talked about the scar, you would become a bit more cold.  
  
"So your wound has healed." I said.  
  
"It's only stopped bleeding." He did have a point, after all. My heart stopped bleeding, but it was still hurting, and I don't think it was healed yet. Even though as much as I deny it, the child sitting across me has slowly helped me heal it, even though he had no idea of it.  
  
"Everything I see that cut, I wonder what the person who injured you saw." What Kiyosato saw when he was killed. "You say you kill people to make them happy..." Yet... I don't think that's what he thinks. I refilled the cups, waiting for his answer.  
  
He looked up, "What?"  
  
"I don't know how happiness can be attained by killing..." I said, looking at him straight in the eyes.  
  
He shrugged, "Everyday, people die for many different reasons." He paused, "I don't randomly kill people without reason."  
  
I think I got mad because when he said that, I saw Kiyosato in my head, "So you judge people's right to live. But you even leave that up to others. You just do as you're told!" I said, losing my calm.  
  
He looked down at his cup of sake, "If I know a lot about the other person, I'll have doubts. I do it to change the world. That's all the justification I need." But didn't you know that you can't change the world with a single sword and hitokiri? Did you? Before I could say anything...  
  
Iizuka-san came running in here, "Get out of here now!"  
  
Himura-san looked at him, "What's wrong?"  
  
"Katsura-san's in danger." Himura-san stood up immediately and I looked at Iizuka-san. We payed immediately and ran all the way with Himura-san holding my hand and leading me through all the crowds. It was the Gion Festival anyhow. As we were passing through the crowds, I heard Iizuka-san say, "Late tonight, Miyabe plans on setting Kyoto on fire."  
  
"What?" I heard Himura-san say.  
  
"He wants to overthrow the emperor. He's broken off all ties with Katsura- san. What's worse is this has probably been leaked to the Shinsengumi." Then we stopped, "I'll get help. You go to the meeting." Iizuka-san then ran off.  
  
"Where is it?" Himura-san shouted, Iizuka-san turned around.  
  
"Kawaramachi Sanjo. The Ikeda house." We then ran there without a word and then ran into a dark alley with five torches lit.  
  
"I see him. That's got to be him." I heard a Shinsengumi say.  
  
He stood in front of me, "Run the way we came." I heard him say, he was getting ready to kill right now, but I wasn't scared...  
  
I walked forward and held his hand, "Don't you know, a sword needs a sheath." I looked at him.  
  
"What are you saying?" He asked me, irritated, I think. He sounded irritated to me. You'd think I give a damn, but I didn't.  
  
"How much longer will you continue killing people? I want to see with my own eyes..." I looked at him, "...My very own eyes." I said, making it sound more real. I didn't want to see him kill people. I knew how he acted after killing. Sometimes, I don't know what to think. Seriously. Like a little while ago, I would be mad, but after a while, like now, I would pity him. My head is screwed up. My head was once again cleared the moment he pushed me away and started fighting.  
  
"Stupid fools." I heard him say. "You're in my way. Move!" He held his sword high.  
  
I heard one of the Shinsengumi say, "Charge north! My name is Heibo Shinosuke!" I frowned a bit, what did your name have to do with any of this? You're about to get killed, and I doubt that the Hitokiri Battousai would remember your name. Little did I know, I was wrong.  
  
"Your name means nothing to me!" Himura-san shouted, then ran forward, stabbed the person on his left throught the neck, then slashed the person on the right's neck. He then stabbed through one's stomach and the last one, stabbed through his neck to the wall where he then pulled the sword out from the wall and the neck.  
  
He ran to the corner and saw some Shinsengumi, when he was about to go, I held on his sword and shoke my head. I saw his eyes widen slightly.  
  
"Katsura's not here." Himura-san's eyebrow lifted a bit at the Shinsengumi talking.  
  
"Miyabe and Okuno committed suicide.  
  
I then pulled him away, since Katsura-san wasn't there, we should be heading back to the inn...  
  
Yui Shinomori - Thanks for the review!  
  
XenoMark - Yup, taking my time slowly ^^ Nice 'Crimson String' chapter!  
  
DiaBLo - Thanks!  
  
AnimeFreak - It's on my favorite's list, I'll give you the names. 25. To Hold You Again 26. Dominating Fate And there's also 'The Black Raven' They're all from fanfiction.net. I'll try to find some from other places tonight.  
  
Tomoe Ayanami - I'll be looking for some tonight, I'll post them up next time!  
  
Author's Notes: I'm also taking a little break from 'The Difference Between Rain and Tears' for a week due to planning. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! 


	6. Do I love him?

Chapter 6  
  
By Crystal  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
We walked in the inn, me and Himura-san. There, we saw Okami-san. She had two bag of stuff in her arms, and I noticed that one of them was mine. "Is Katsura-san here?" Himura-san said.  
  
"No...We heard about the Ikeda house." Okami-san said, I kept quiet, knowing she wasn't done what she wanted to say, "This place is dangerous too. Hurry up and go through the back." Himura-san walked ahead as he took his bag of stuff while I was behind me, I took mine. As I was about to walk out the door, I heard Okami-san call to me. "Tomoe-chan, remember the irises." I turned around. What was she thinking? Remember the irises?  
  
"Eh?" That was my exact reaction.  
  
She looked at me straight in the eye, which I returned, "They smell strongest in the rain." She paused. And...? I thought. She really wasn't helping all that much. Talking about irises when all our lives were in danger.  
  
"Even when it's raining blood." Oh... So this had something to do with Himura-san... All right... Raining blood... the first nice I met him. Face to face anyhow. I was thankful, kind of. So I bowed down low to her and then left without an other word. As I saw Himura-san outside, all was silent and dark. I could barely see where the path was, Himura-san was no help whatsoever. With his light steps, that I couldn't even hear, I had to look at his bright hair.  
  
It was nice how his hair moved when he was walking. He had beautiful hair too, silky. Oh god, now what am I thinking about? My enemy's beautiful silky hair. Great, though I did have to agree he had nice silky hair. I mentally slapped myself upside the head. There I go again. I bet nobody knew what was going inside my weird head. Outside, I might be the most quiet person, but inside... No. I had once thought that my brain was screwed... Actually, that was a lie. I only started thinking like this once I arrived at Kyoto.  
  
Himura-san pushed open the door, "Himura?" I heard a familiar voice said. Yes, the voice that had told me about the sheath, the voice who told me I should be the sheath for the blade Himura... Katsura-san.  
  
"Katsura-san, are you all right?" Himura-san had asked.  
  
Katsura-san shook his head, "I thought you might be dead." A pause, "They've gotten into our headquarters, I've lost everything." He looked at Himura-san, then me. Somewhere in those eyes, there was something I definitely didn't like. "We better just think about staying alive for now." That was okay, I liked that. Sure didn't want to die... yet. "I've prepared a house for you in Otsu." That was okay too, a house. I wonder what it was going to look like. "Pretend to be newly weds and stay there." Pretend to be newly weds, that was ok-   
  
What in the world?! Newly weds?! That was NOT okay. I am suppose to be married to this... boy, who was no older than fifteen and stay in a house in Otsu for... how long? Right now, I'm suppose to marry the man that killed my fiancée. That was... unexpected, even though that's what Iizuka-san wanted me to do in the job, but... this... this is WAY too sudden. The only reaction I could've made was a gasp and stare wide eyed at him. I also saw Himura-san with the same reaction as me.  
  
"If you're married, you'll be less suspicious." He turned to Himura-san. "I'll have Iizuka get in touch with you. Wait for me." Without an other, he left us like I left Okami-san, but when he passed by me, he said, "I'm counting on you, Tomoe-san." I knew Himura-san heard him, and he was probably confused. I might've looked confused, but I knew exactly what he was talking about. The sword or blade, and the sheath. I had once told Himura-san, 'Don't you know, a sword needs a sheath?' I didn't say the exact meaning, since we were still again five Shinsengumis. That was just less than an hour ago.  
  
We were both looking at Katsura-san until we could no longer see him or his dark blue gi. I was surprised that Himura-san had started speaking first, "So we go to Otsu..." He paused and I felt his eyes on the back of my head, "...As newly weds..." I nodded.  
  
Tonight was the night all the stuff happened, my first 'date' with Himura-san, my first time actually seeing Himura-san kill, last time didn't count since I just saw the half body fly on the floor, and tonight was the night Katsura-san made me Himura-san's sheath. Also his wife... He took the place of Kiyosato, my fiancée. Was I angry? No. Do I hate him? Of course not. Did I regret this? I refuse to answer this. Was I afraid? No.  
  
Before we arrived at the inn, Himura-san, he had told me to call him Kenshin. Said that married couples didn't call their mates by last names and add a honorific there. Maybe chan, but Kenshin-chan would've sounded really... funny. I'm now sitting down and have my journal opened in front of me like so many other nights.  
  
'July 9, 1864  
  
'I just wanted to keep this memory forever. After all, it is my first night being a wife, or should I say my last night being a woman that wasn't married yet? I guess it was the same, in some ways. I've asked Kenshin to come drink sake with me, since it was the Gion festival. He killed a group of Shinsengumis on the way when we found out that Katsura-san was in danger. I had even told him that a sword needed a sheath and I wanted to see him stop killing. That was real, it really was. But he looked at me as I was crazy. Last month, Katsura-san had told me to think about being his sheath, tonight, Katsura-san made me his sheath. By getting me to marry to him.  
  
Tomorrow morning, first thing, we are going to Otsu, me and Himu... no, Kenshin. Katsura-san had said that newly weds weren't as suspicious, I must agree...'  
  
* * * * *  
  
We're almost at Otsu when I heard a woman's voice and I turned around, but not without noticing that Kenshin was still walking in silence, "You're Tomoe of Ohanagi, right?"  
  
"The flower lady..." I said, I met her quite a few times while buying flowers... most of the time irises.  
  
"Are you going somewhere?" She asked.  
  
Instead of answering her question, I stated a fact, "Business is difficult. You should get some rest."  
  
I turned around to look at my 'husband' who was walking farther and farther away and was lost in thoughts until, "Let's hurry." He said. I heard the flower lady ask me who that was, and I answered by my husband. Funny how smooth it came out of my mouth, as if I didn't need to think about the answer, which I really didn't...  
  
I waved to the flower lady and followed Kenshin with the usual distance between us. I don't know what made me do it, but I grabbed my tanto.   
  
* * * * *  
  
We arrived yesterday, and when we did, I was really surprised at the house. It was small, yes, but it was pretty nice and it was a decent place to live. Perfect for a couple. It looked like one of my dream houses when I would daydream about Kiyosato and I married. Somewhere on the calm mountains without anyone disturbing us with a town a bit away from our house. Everything was perfect. Perfect, flawless, complete. Everything except the fact that this was not Kiyosato she was with, but Kenshin.  
  
I stood there with my back against the door, listening to the sound he chopped the woods. Chop, chop, chop. I closed my eyes, he would be waiting for me... That thought made me move away from the door and check myself once more before I opened the door. I wore red lipstick today. I saw him stop his work immediately and I was scared that he was mad at me for being so late.  
  
"Sorry to keep you waiting..." I said, out of fear that he would suddenly take the knife he was using to cut wood to cut me to pieces. I know I was being silly and there was no way he was going to do that, but that didn't stop the thought from crossing my mind. I wasn't scared of death. I needed revenge for Kiyosato... Did I not? I bowed my head low.  
  
I saw him get up and untie the rope holding onto his sleeves so it would not come down, "The weather is good today." My eyes widen slightly. Him? Kenshin? Battousai? Talking about the weather? "It puts me in a good mood." He turned around and gave me a smile. I couldn't help but smile back slightly. His smile was warm. Had this house really changed him that much? From moving him away from the battlefield, he was able to smile warmly. Which I had returned. I turned my head slightly to look at the house... This house was surely changing both of us. The two most emotionless people in the inn for the Ishinshishi had smile.  
  
We walked, still keeping the usual distance between us, but he helped me up when I was climbing the mountains. Whenever he held out his hand, I would hold it, even though most of the time, I didn't need it. I was capable of climbing it by myself, but I had felt good everything my hand touched his. Every time my hand came in contact with him, I would feel my legs turn to mush and my face getting hotter.  
  
Thank god he hadn't noticed. ...Was I falling in love with him? Of course not! You're a silly, silly girl, Yukishiro Tomoe. What makes you think the infamous Battousai would like you anyways? I was cold, I had a nice voice, I had grace... Okay, okay, I get your point. Even though he liked me, I would never like him. He had these steel cold eyes that made your whole body shiver with fear when he looked at you, silky red hair, handsome face, best fighter in the whole Japan... Okay, maybe he was a man everyone wanted, that doesn't necessary mean I like him. Jeez.  
  
We climbed up the mountain still and when we reached it, we prayed, or I did. I don't think he prayed. We then walked to the shore. I looked out to the sea, it was truly beautiful. He stood beside me and looked at the sea with me. I couldn't help it and took a peek at him from the corner of my eyes and saw his peaceful face as he had his eyes closed. The scar... The scar was still there, but it seemed right to be there. It looked right.  
  
A few minutes later, he asked me if I had wanted to stay or wanted to go with him to buy stuff, I had decided to stay. The sea was too beautiful to turn away from, and I was also deep in thoughts. I was still gazing at the sea when I felt him behind me, his intense eyes looking at me. I unwillingly ripped my eyes away from the sea and looked at him.  
  
He handed me a nicely wrapped packet that was round. I looked at him straight in the eye. I knew, there was no need for words. There was no need to say 'thank you' out loud. I looked at the wrapped object and held it close to my chest and closed my eyes.  
  
As we were nearing home, the wind was blowing our way and he held out his arm so it wouldn't affect me as much. Such a gentleman... My hair was blowing everywhere, I was silently thankful for at that moment, my face was burning, and I couldn't deny it from myself any longer. I was blushing, really hard...  
  
'July 11, 1864  
  
'This was a question that was surely unavoidable. Even though I didn't want to answer and had tried to deny it for the longest time, I knew. Do I love him? Do I love my husband Kenshin?'  
  
I closed my journal slowly and looked at my husband with his usual sleeping position. That was a question I would deny to answer, even though I knew the answer. I've known the answer for a long time, maybe since the first time I saw him when it was raining blood, maybe even before. I might write it down someday... but right now... I don't think I can face myself with the answer. Not yet anyhow, not yet.  
  
I took the extra blanket sitting beside our two people futon and laid it on him. Someday, if he keeps sleeping like that, he was going to catch a cold. "Oyasumi nasai... Kenshin." I whispered quietly and slipped in my futon, falling asleep in a dreamless sleep.  
  
XenoMark - Thanks! This chapter took a while, but anyhow...  
  
AnimeFreak - Thanks, I don't think I'm THAT good. But thank you nonetheless.  
  
DiaBLo - Thank you. I'll keep updating whenever I have time ^^  
  
Blueraingurl - Thanks for the review, I'll keep updating, that's for sure.  
  
Author's Notes: This took more than my usual time, for that I apologize, but it's cause I have all of these presentations to do. I got 96% on my French presentation. Yay! Anyhow, I've just started to rewrite 'The Difference Between Rain and Tears' Chapter 18. It'll be updated hopefully this week, if I'm not too busy. Anyhow, have fun on Halloween for those who are going Trick-Or-Treating! Later people! 


	7. My Promise

Chapter 7  
  
By Crystal  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
I cooked dinner tonight like I did every other night. It's been a week since we moved to here, I didn't mind it much, no. But... I guess, it's a bit boring sometimes. I would go out and take small walks, do the laundry, cook and go to the market sometimes. I didn't even know what Kenshin did during the day.  
  
I looked at the meal that I had prepared in front of me. It didn't look right, it seemed like something was missing... Ah... yes, the daikons. I had forgotten to buy the daikons yesterday at the market, so I ended up cooking without any daikons. The dish doesn't look as nice anymore. I looked at Kenshin who was slowly eating his meal, probably thinking about Kyoto. I never did have much idea of what he was thinking when he kept quiet. Not that he had any idea what I was thinking...  
  
I took a breath of fresh air, "Sumanu." I wasn't exactly too sorry, but I guess it's just because I wanted to start a conversation with my husband. I rarely talk to him during the day unless it's really necessary. It's starting to get on my nerve sometimes, a house in the mountains without anyone to talk to. He's even worst than an icicle. I don't even know why I married him in the first place. Oh right, I didn't have a choice. Ignore my last comment.  
  
"Eh?"  
  
God I wanted to scream, couldn't you have said something like 'what?' instead of making a stupid sound? Actually, I had quite expected that out of you... So ignore that last comment too. I'm starting to sound like a total moron, I know... "There wasn't any daikons to grate."  
  
"I don't mind..." I heard him say. That's great! You said three words tonight! I think that's more than what you've said the whole day today. I'm so proud of you, Kenshin! Not.  
  
"But it just seems like something is missing." Don't you think so too? It doesn't sound as nice, I mean. Really, and no I'm not a nutcase. Unlike some people, I care about how the food I prepared looks.   
  
I waited for his answer, which I got none, so I finished up my dinner quietly. Three words and still counting for today... Hopefully, he'll say another word tonight. At the sight of me finishing up my dinner, he quickly stuffed the rice left in his mouth and handed me his bowls and plates and I thanked him. Still no answer. I went to wash the bowls and dishes in the little tub filled with water, hearing him play his top.  
  
I think that's the only thing left from his childhood. I wanted to ask him that question, but I never brought myself to say it. It was most likely painful. I mean, if it wasn't, how else would you get to be the most feared hitokiri in Japan? He'd have to have something terrible, like a childhood to turn into something like that.  
  
"We'll make a field."   
  
"Eh?" My eyes widen a bit, then turned back to normal. I didn't hear him speak after my surprised reaction, I must've been hallucinating. Yeah, must have been myself, he wouldn't all of a sudden talk about fields... That was what I thought he said, right? Fields... I wonder what for.  
  
"I don't know about daikons, but we should be able to grow something." I felt my eyes widen as I stared at the dishes in the small tub for what seemed like an eternity before he spoke again, I could hear him playing with his favourite top clearly. "When I was a kid, I helped around the house a lot." Another pause. I think I really should go see the doctor. A field? For daikons? From the mouth of Himura Kenshin? "It shouldn't be too hard."  
  
Now I've seen it all, the infamous Battousai talking about growing daikons in the fields. I probably would have been laughing my head off if I wasn't so emotionless. The only thing I got out of my mouth was, "Is... that so?" Don't blame me, I mean, can you really help but be surprised when the Battousai was talking about daikons and fields.  
  
A little while later, I saw him sleeping in his usually sleeping position... I can't help but think if it's good for his back, sleeping like that everyday must be painful. Perhaps one day... I'll get him to sleep on his back.  
  
'July 18, 1864  
  
Tonight at dinner, I told him that I didn't have any daikons to grate and he had said that he didn't mind. Later after dinner when I was washing the dishes, he said that we could grow something in the fields outside the house. Every time I see his face, I can't help but look at his scar. The terrible scar that won't ever disappear.'  
  
I put my journal back in the drawer and took out my mirror. The mirror Kenshin bought me and opened it up. I looked at myself in the mirror, seeing the imaginary line on Kenshin's face. I traced the line going vertically down my cheek. After a few minutes of just sitting there, I put all my belongings in the drawer and went to my futon. Blowing out the candle light, I slipped into my futon. Hopefully, I will have dreamless night.  
  
* * * * *  
  
This morning, we went to the market to buy some stuff to plant the daikons. Kenshin's digging the soil while I'm planting the daikons. I was in a pretty good spirit until...  
  
"Yo! You're in good spirits." I heard the man I despised. About half an year ago, the man I despised was the Battousai, now he is my husband. The man I loathed now was the man that had help me make a plan to kill the one I hated so many months ago. Ironic, isn't it?  
  
We went inside while I served the both of them green tea. Then I knelt beside Kenshin. "Hmm?" Iizuka-san said thoughtfully.  
  
"What is it?" Kenshin said.  
  
Iizuka-san smiled, and I didn't like that smile at all. "No matter how I look at it, you two really seemed married." Oh, that's nice. I bet he said that because he wanted me and Kenshin to get closer together so I can find out his weakness. I could have done this all by myself without him. Well... That's kind of fake, since this IS his plan. Anyhow, I didn't want to listen to his voice. I hated it and anyhow, I bet my 'husband' wanted me to leave so the two of them could talk alone without anyone.  
  
I stood up abruptly and walked to the door where I turned around to look at my husband, "I'll go plant the rest of the vegetables." I slide open the door and hurried to close the door, but before I did, I just had to see that man's horrible grin. Gah, I hate him.  
  
"Did I say something wrong?" I heard Iizuka-san say. Of course you did, and you know you did too you... Never mind.  
  
"No, more importantly..." That's just great Kenshin. Yes, yes, that's the way to be a man. Leave your wife outside in the fields to do the planting while you don't give a darn about her. That's just great.  
  
"The situation is not good." Of course it's not. Kyoto is a battlefield! How would the situation be good? Any way, people are dying everyday due to the war. I was walking farther and farther away from the house, the voices diminishing more and more. "After the last anti-shogun battle, there's been a purging of the gangs and anti-government groups..." That was the last sentence I heard from the conversation.  
  
A little while of going out to plant the vegetables, I heard the shoji slide open behind me and felt Iizuka-san's gaze on me. I continued to work on the fields, pretending not to notice his gaze and a minute later, he slid it shut. I sighed a sigh of relief.  
  
I don't know how long I was working under the sun for, but after what felt like hours, I heard the shoji slide open once again and I turned around, seeing the both of them walk out. I stood up and walked towards Iizuka-san to bid him farewell. Even though I hated the man, there was no way I could've let him left without a farewell.  
  
"See you, Tomoe-san. From today on, you're the wife of a medicine seller." I tilted my head in confusion. Medicine... Seller...? Since when did Kenshin become a medicine seller? I saw him leave and looked at Kenshin. He explained everything to me, about the work and all. He said that Iizuka-san said that people with a job weren't looked at with suspicious.  
  
Dinner had already been served a while ago. Right now, I'm sitting on the floor, staring at the moon while arranging flowers. It was a starless night... I looked at the flowers I had arranged. It was certainly improving with ikebana. After all, I did learn it from my mother, who arranged flowers very nicely. After it was finished, I put it aside and stared at the moon while listening to Kenshin make medicine with the rolling wheel behind me.  
  
Suddenly, the sound stopped and I felt his presence behind me and then beside me, standing there like he did in the inn before the whole thing during the Gion Festival. "I'd forgotten about the full moons these last few years." Well, it's hard to remember the full moon when you're out killing until midnight. Once you get back, you keep scrubbing your hands until they're bloody then you go to bed. You rarely even look at the sky.  
  
"In the evening, I saw a sunset. What is going to happen in the future? How long are we going to live like this?" I certainly didn't mind living like this... But having a messenger come and tell your husband news of the war wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I was thinking about how my marriage was going to be.  
  
He looked a me for a second before answering, "For a little while. I don't know more than that." He turned away and walked back to his medicine making. As the sound began again, I used the corner of my eyes to see him, then resumed watching the moon.  
  
* * * * *  
  
It's already morning and Kenshin was waiting for me outside, all his medicine stuff ready for today. The first morning of being the wife of a medicine seller. I brushed my hair until it shone and tied it up in my usual low ponytail. Added a tiny pit of hakubai-kou on my neck and walked to the entrance...  
  
Where I stopped and took out my tanto. I held it tight, wondering if I should bring it or not... Bringing it meant that I still haven't fully forgiven Kenshin... And if I left it, it meant I forgave him. Fully.  
  
I immediately stopped thinking when the voice of my husband reached my ears, "I want to get back before the sun goes down. Are you ready yet?" I stood there for another second.  
  
Until I was ready to answer. "Yes, I'm ready." I walked slowly to the desk and opened the drawer and left the tanto I had for months in the drawer. Whether or not I had fully forgiven Kenshin, I did not exactly know. Part of me still blames him for killing him and the other part blames the person that taught him the sword style. The only thing I knew was, I did not want him dead, I did not want to kill him. I will not let him be killed because he killed my fiancée. That is my promise to God.  
  
I went back to the entrance door and stood there for a few seconds to think before I slid open the shoji and welcomed the sun. It felt refreshing... The wife of a medicine seller... That was what I was going to be. Many people say promises were meant to be broken, but no matter what... I'm going to keep this promise. Even if it means sacrificing my life.  
  
Daikon - Radish  
Ikebana - The art of Japanese flower arranging  
Hakubai-kou - White plum perfume  
  
DiaBLo - Yeah, Tomoe was really unemotional in the OVAs (mangas maybe? Haven't read them yet). But I decided to make her more emotional, I mean, even people that don't show emotions have emotions inside... I think so anyhow.  
  
XenoMark - I won't give up on that one ^^ Thanks.  
  
Yui Shinomori - Thank you!~  
  
Heaven's child - I know, lots of people say that. Thanks! ^^  
  
Blueraingurl - I don't know, but that would've been my reaction if I heard someone talking about irises during a life and death situation.  
  
Author's Notes: 'The Difference Between Rain and Tears' Chapter 19 will be updated next, then it'll probably be 'Crimson Puddles'. Or I might leave that to next week. I don't know, but 'The Difference Between Rain and Tears' is certainly getting updated next since I'm already halfway through Chapter 19. I'm trying to do this while rotating so I get at least one chapter per fic updated weekly. Anyhow, I hope everyone a good day. Later all! 


	8. Embrace in The Rain

Chapter 8

By Crystal

*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*

We walked to where our destination with the usual gap between it, it was getting annoying sometimes.  I mean, we are couples...  Couples do not walk with a huge gap that's about two meters separating each other.  I sighed a little, perhaps having a normal husband was too much to hope for.  My husband was far from normal...

As we reached there, Kenshin sat down with the basket of medicine while I stood up and held the flag in my hands.  A while later, a lot of people came to buy medicine and even kids came.

It was around four and the sky was red, Kenshin decided to close and play with the little kids that had been bugging him for the past hour.  I couldn't help but smile slightly at the scene.  Battousai playing with children from a village...  He looked up at me suddenly, I knew he didn't see my smile, it was too small.  For a second there, I felt safe, I felt safe.  Really safe.  Safer than I've been in a while.

About half an hour later, we were on our way home.  Our way to a house on the mountains...  Kenshin was in front of me, with the usual distance between us, his medicine basket on his back and his ponytail sweeping it softly.  "He was right."  I looked up, shocked that he would talk, "Merchants aren't looked at suspiciously."

I see...  So Iizuka-san...  "And the medicine sold better than we expected."  A pause for me, "I'm glad."  Another few minutes later, Kenshin spoke up again.

"You left that dagger."  My eyes widen once again, how did he know?  How did he know?!  Far in the distance, I heard a swam cry, or whatever bird that was, I was never good with bird names...

"Hai... I left it."  I didn't know what else to say...  But I know I did want to continue the conversation...  "Right now..."  I said uncertainly, "I'm the wife of a medicine seller..."  That was certainly not what I intended to say...

I felt my smile widen when he turned back to look at me, "It's getting cold.  Let's hurry."  Pfft...  I was hoping you would say something to continue on the conversation, but I guess that was too hard for you.  You just had to kill the most decent conversation we had.  Great.

It's night right now, and I've served some sake, beats doing nothing.  "Tastes good..."  I heard him say, I smile inwardly.

"Does it?"  I asked, and winced inwardly at the cold tone of my voice.

"I haven't tasted this in a while..."  He said.

I took a sip from my sake cup and looked up at him.  I felt a tiny smile form on my lips, "That's true."  I look at the sake cup as I remembered memories.  Memories of Kiyosato again, memories of us meeting, memories of us drinking during the Gion Festival.  It felt so long ago, but truthfully, it's only been less than half an year.

I must've looked sadder than I really was, because the next second, I heard him ask, "What's wrong?"

I looked up at him, "Nothing."  I saw concern in his eyes, his eyes that were no longer amber, but kind of violet and amethyst, I took up the bottle of said, "Please."  He held up his cup and I refilled it.  The rest of the night passed by quietly.

I see you always sleeping with your sword on your shoulder.  Does it ever hurt, how you sleep?  Don't you get sick of being alert, even when sleeping?  Aren't you ever cold, sleeping like that without a single blanket covering you?  I guess... Since I am your wife, it is my duty to make sure you're warm when you're sleeping.  I dragged the blanket to over where he was sleeping and put it over him.  Next, I took off my uwagi and put it on his back, this way, he would certainly not catch a cold.  "Oyasumi nasai...  anata."  I whispered quietly, even I had trouble hearing it.

'July 20, 1864

The medicine today sold better than I thought.  I guess...  We're getting closer and closer, I hope we are anyhow.  You're so peaceful when you're not killing, I must have said that at least a thousand times...  Right now, I see someone that hates to kill...  Someone that would like a normal life...  Would I be able to kill you when the time comes?  I think I know the answer to that already, and I think I've asked myself that plenty of times.'

* * * * *

It's been a week since we sold medicine, and Iizuka-san came today again.  Once again, I find myself outside on the fields, hiding away from his evil smile again.  I heard most of the conversation anyhow, it wasn't hard, the way they was talking.  They were pretty loud.

"Is that so?"  I heard my husband ask.

"Well, take it easy...  Or have you grown tired of the boring life of a medicine seller?"  Iizuka-san asked Kenshin.  I unconsciously leaned closer to the house, wanting to hear my husband's answer.  Does he miss the life as Battousai, or does he like the peaceful life in Otsu?

"Not at all.  I didn't enjoy killing people.  Life here isn't boring."  I sighed mentally.  I couldn't help but be relieved.  If he had said that he enjoyed his past life, I wouldn't have known what to do.  I would probably be thinking something along the lines 'Was I really such a horrible wife?'.  Fortunately, I wasn't that bad...  I hope.  "It has opened my eyes to various things."  I heard him say again.  Well, that's good, I guess.

"That's good, but be careful not to let your skills slip."  There was a bit of noise inside, which I assumed was my husband nodding.  Then Iizuka-san started talking about things going on in Kyoto and I left.  I wanted to shut that life out, I just wanted to be a wife who lives a normal wife with her husband on a mountain.  It never seemed possible...  It was never possible.

A little while later, Iizuka-san came out and waved at me, which I ignored and acted as though I had been working hard on the fields.  Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him leave and see his him slowly disappear.  "I'm sorry...  I'm not comfortable with him."  I told my husband, "I didn't even see him off." 

* * * * *

It's been a week since the last time Iizuka-san came and it's been raining.  Raining a lot, actually.  Non-stop since he left.  Right now, I'm crouching on the field with Kenshin holding an umbrella while standing.  I see some dead daikons...  "No way..."  I heard myself say sadly.  I touched the leaves, "After all that work..."  Poor daikons...  And we...  we put so much effort to grow them.  The reason why I felt sad was not because it was a shame.  Perhaps, to me, it felt that Kenshin was creating life for the first time, instead of destroying it.  I felt that all we worked for over the past few weeks had gone to waste...

"It's the continuous rain."  He touched my shoulder, concerned.  "It's okay."  He was trying to reassure me, I know, but I couldn't help but feel sad.  I felt a tiny tear roll off my cheek.  "Half of them are all right.  This is a common thing."  I know it was...  Yet...  I couldn't help the tears that were rolling down my cheeks.

"But...  But...  But..."  I whispered softly.  I was becoming soft, most of my walls had already been destroyed.  A lot of them.  I couldn't help but cry in front of him.  Why...  Why was it so hard for me to be happy?  I don't get it.  Kiyosato...  I could have been happy with him, but he had to join the night patrol and get killed.  Kenshin...  If I got close to him, it would hurt him more later...  When I got my revenge.  But I didn't want my revenge...

I jerked out of my thoughts as I felt his hand shaking me softly, "Tomoe?"  He whispered.  I looked up, forgetting the tears on my face.  "Tomoe, daijoubu?"  Concern...  Love...  That was all in his eyes.  Without a single thought, I flung myself and cried on his chest.  It was not only the daikons...  It was all the things I had locked away in my heart.  It was finally being unlocked...  By the most dangerous man alive.  Despite the fact he was Battousai, I loved him.  And I still do.  

I felt him tense up and drop the umbrella in shock.  I was afraid...  Afraid he would push me away from the embrace, instead, he returned it.  Even the if the heavens was crying, even if the rain was freezing cold, I felt warm.  So...  The most dangerous man in Japan was the key to my heart.  The key to my locked heart, filled with secrets and regrets.

Night had arrived again and we were once again sitting silently, drinking sake.  After coming back home from the fields, both of us soaked, I got in the shower quietly and when I came out, it was his turn.  We still haven't talked since then.  Home?  Did I just call this my home?  I guess I did...  Kenshin...  Why doesn't he ever ask my past?  Never once did he ask about it, never once did he suspect me of being a spy...  I don't get it, how it is that he can trust me so much?  He knows nothing about me and in return, I don't know much about him...  I gathered my courage, "You don't ask, do you?"

"Eh?"

"About my personal circumstances." I said calmly.

"I feel bad towards your father.  Even if we are doing it to cover our tracks, hiding like this is not different than being a fugitive..."  That made sense...  But I don't exactly think that answers my question...  "So I don't think it's my place to ask about your past."

His answer shocked me, of course.  Not his place to ask?   I guess the thought of me being a spy probably never crossed his mind.  Makes sense, who would think a defenceless woman that didn't know anything but cooking and arranging flowers would be a spy?  I must say, it was clever of Iizuka-san to do that.  Nobody did ever suspect me, not even Katsura-san, but I've regretted that.  It would probably be better for Kenshin to suspect me...  Perhaps...  I should just tell him.  "You are..."  I paused.  "No, it's nothing."

He's once again sleeping in his usual position.  I opened my journal and I remember everything clearly.  How could I forget that easily?  Even though I have been trying to forget about that whole incident...  And tried to live my life normally, being unsuccessful, of course.  Who would have a normal life, living under the same roof as Battousai?

_Tomoe-chan, at least take this.  It's from their parents._

_Thank you for taking the trouble..._

_Of course a second son of a middle class couldn't have taken care of Tomoe-chan, so he had to go to Kyoto._

_At least he showed a lot of caring, this only happened because he joined that patrol group._

_Don't say things like that.  Think of Tomoe-chan's feelings._

_Nee-chan, what's wrong?  Answer me!  Nee-chan, what's happened?_

God, it's those horrible memories again, the ones when I find out Kiyosato's news.  Come to think of it, once I got to know Kenshin, I never tried to find out whether Kiyosato was really killed by him or not...  I look at Kenshin, "You're too nice when you're not killing people..."  I whispered softly, a single tear once again rolling down my cheek.  I opened my journal.

'August 4, 1864

You're too nice when you're not killing people...'

I think... That was the shortest journal entry I've written.

Uwagi – A jacket...  I think

DiaBLo – Arigatou for correcting me.  Worst than Aoshi?  Tomoe?  You must be kidding me!  Lol...  A female Aoshi ^^

XenoMark – He does seem kind of like a jerk, eh?

Tomoe Ayanami – I've repeated a few comments on purpose cause I, myself think of a lot of things more than once, but it might be just me ^^.  Anyhow, that little scene about the rain was a little romantic...  Hope it satisfies you... a bit ^^  I'll try to fit as much romantic scenes as possible.

Kalus – Thanks for the great compliment ^^  I hope you enjoy the next chapter than.  Arigatou!

Heaven's Child – Thanks for the review!

Author's Notes: The next updated should be 'The Difference Between the Rain and Tears'.  I have a good idea for a new story... though it's used often.  Either a Soujiro/Misao fic or Aoshi/Misao.  Ja ne!


	9. Ore wa kimi wo mamoru

Chapter 9  
  
By Crystal  
  
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*  
  
It's been around a month and a week or two since I've been the wife of a medicine seller. Life's been better than I thought it'd be... Kenshin's been opening up a bit more... I guess. And I guess I'm feeling more comfortable around him and the kids. Kids... Not our kids. Of course not. I mean, it's only been two months since we've married. And we haven't done... Anything.  
  
Kenshin just came back this morning because the kids from the village dragged him along to go play with them. My favourite little boy... Hisashi Toku, was it? I think it was him, he's so cute and adorable... Makes Kenshin play horse riding with him. He's been smiling a lot lately... And I guess I'm happy for him. Pretty happy actually.  
  
Right now, Kenshin's tending the fields while I'm here by the river washing clothes. It isn't really my favourite chore... But I guess I can't really expect Battousai to wash clothes now, can I? Kenshin doing laundry... I don't think I can picture that... Anyhow, I guess he's been better at chores... I've been teaching him how to cook a bit, and he does have some talents.  
  
"Neechan!" That sounded like Enishi... I must be missing my little brother more than I thought... "Neechan!" Okay... I'm probably hallucinating... "Neechan!" Maybe not...  
  
"Enishi..." I was surprised, of course... How would my little brother know where I lived? This information was suppose to be secret. Unless Iizuka-san leaked it out to the Shinsengumi, which he most likely did. I swear... All that man loves is money... Money, money and money.  
  
Enishi walked up to me with a big smile plastered on his face, obviously very happy to see me. As I was too, but I couldn't help but think that Iizuka-san had sent him here, which he probably did. "I came, neechan." I gave him a little hug and we both walked to the house, where I waved for Kenshin to come over.  
  
"This is my younger brother Enishi." I introduced him and I felt Enishi hug me tighter.  
  
Kenshin frowned slightly, "Younger brother?"  
  
"Yes, I sent him letter occasionally." That was a lie, I didn't like lying to him... No, I hated it, but what else could I have done? Told Kenshin that Enishi was probably working along the Shinsengumi so you can kill him? Of course not! Although, I am pretty sure you won't kill him... He is, after all, an innocent boy... A little boy... actually. "He came to visit."  
  
He nodded, "I see. I'm sure you have lots to catch up on, I'll go check on the fields." Now that was a thing I liked about my husband... He'd never go into my privacy and I don't think he really cared... But I do like to think he does care. Sometimes anyways. When he walked out, I felt Enishi glare at Kenshin's back and I knew Kenshin felt it too, though he didn't react to it. Probably used to all the glaring people gave him. He is the infamous Battousai, after all.  
  
I turned around to my brother, "You appeared suddenly, so I was surprised. Is father doing well?"  
  
"I guess so." He was that sweet little boy again, not the one with the voice that was harsh and mean... But he was doing that just to protect me. I know.  
  
"How long has it been since you left Edo?" I asked him curiously.  
  
"About six month, soon after you left." Toshiko was left home with father. I couldn't help but feel a bit worried. Father was rarely home, but with Enishi home, he'd at least take care of her, but now... It seemed like the only person taking care of Toshiko was probably Kao-chan or her father. I trusted them enough.  
  
"Where are you staying then, Enishi?" I asked and opened my mouth again. "How did you find out I lived in this place?"  
  
He smiled all of a sudden, sending a shiver up my spine. I didn't get why I was so scared... Maybe I was expecting an answer like Iizuka-san told me, but his smile told me differently. "Of course I'd know... I was receiving your letters." That was certainly not what I expected and I dropped down whatever I was doing, which was writing a letter to my father. Ink splattered all over the sheet of paper I had been writing on. That was an answer I never expected... Even though it indirectly told me that Iizuka-san had given him the address, it shocked me. Maybe if he had said it out directly, I wouldn't be so shocked.  
  
"Finally, be happy neechan." I looked at him, still shocked. I don't think I know what he was talking about. "Finally, the time has come to show that bastard heaven's judgement." I frowned, where had Enishi learned all the swear words... I felt my blood boil at the thought of Iizuka-san. "That is your wish, right neechan? That's why you left all by yourself. How can you stay in this lonely place with that bastard." I heard his voice turn murderous at the mention of Kenshin's name. How can this be my wish? Enishi turning murderous against my husband? How can I be happy when my sweet brother has learned how to swear like that? How can I be?  
  
This wasn't happening... Not when I was alive, no way in hell... I moved forward and embraced Enishi and he stopped talking immediately. "Go home to Edo alone." I knew my voice was harsh and what I said was harsher. After all, he was just doing this all for me... But... If this is the only way to get him out of this conflict, then so be it.  
  
"What are you saying?" He asked, shocked.  
  
"You are the oldest son of the Yukishiro family, right? Don't get involved in this matter." I said firmly.  
  
"I don't care about the house! I want to help my neechan!" I know Enishi loved me... But I didn't want him here... In the middle of the war and everything... With the Shogunate and with the Ishin shishi... He was too young to see blood... To young to understand the meaning of war and death. After all, I don't think I knew what death was too well at the age of eight. Even though I did know what death was by the time my mother passed away giving birth to my brother. But that was when I was ten. "That's why..."  
  
"Go home, Enishi." I knew he wanted to talk more, but I didn't want to hear it... "Understood?"  
  
I saw tears at the brim and threatening to leak out, "What's the matter?" He pulled away from my embrace. "Why do you protect the bastard?!" I winced slightly at the colourful words Enishi used. "He's your enemy. He stole your happiness! He's the one you're suppose to hate, isn't he?"  
  
Why do I protect Kenshin? It's because he's my husband... And I love him dearly... Even though I guess I never admitted it to anyone and I denied it myself, I knew I loved him more than I had loved Kiyosato. Kiyosato was only a crush I had ever since my childhood until... Until... I met Kenshin... People must think I have no loyalty, I guess they could say that... But I really do love him. I really do... I was being unfair to Kiyosato, but at the same time, he was never really fair to me. The time when I had wanted to marry, he had left Edo for Kyoto... And gotten himself killed... By my husband right now. Kenshin's my husband right now... And my loyalty lies with him.  
  
Enishi was wrong... He was my enemy, not anymore. Right now, I would do anything to save him... It's true he stole my happiness... But in return, he gave me another happiness. A happiness better than the one before. I don't mean to offend Kiyosato or the Kiyosato family... But... Thinking back now, I have never been this close to Kiyosato... I have never even called him by his first name. Akira... But Enishi was right... Kenshin was the one I'm suppose to hate, but instead, I love him. I must really be screwed up in the head, I know.  
  
A while later, I persuaded Enishi to go back to Edo and I gave him the letter I wrote and a pack of stuff. "Give that to father. Tell him to think of it as me. Onegai, understood?"  
  
"Neechan..." His head was hung low.  
  
"Do you understand?"  
  
Instead of answering my question... "I've told them where they can reach you." He then shot Kenshin a hateful glare, even more hateful than the ones before... I know Kenshin felt it and was suspicious of the glare my brother kept shooting at him, but I guess I can always say it's just that he doesn't like the idea of me having married. I hated lying, but like I said before. What else could I do? Let the Ishin shishi catch my brother?  
  
* * * * *  
  
It's been a week since Enishi visited and we're working in the fields right now. Winter's approaching and we're harvesting. I'm inside the house getting another one of those wooden things for Kenshin to put the daikons in. He's probably pulling out the daikons rights now. I walk towards him and without even looking up, he starts a conversation. I'm glad, it's not always me starting the conversation anymore. Hopefully, this one will be longer than the last one.  
  
"We made it before winter." He said.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I wasn't sure we'd be able to harvest them, but actually, they grow pretty well." Usually now, I'm the one with the short answers. But I don't think he minds... I don't think I'll mind either if he replies with short answers. As long as he talks to me. As long as this living continues... But I know, in my heart, it's ending sometime soon. Very soon.  
  
* * * * *  
  
I've been thinking... And looking at Kenshin unconsciously, I guess. I like looking at him while he eats. He looks so... peaceful. Actually, he looks peaceful anywhere. Sleeping, eating, walking, talking... I can go on...  
  
"Yes?" I suddenly blinked and was out of my thoughts.  
  
"Nothing, it's just you eat as if it's really good." I guess I can't consider that as a lie. He does eat it like he's really enjoying it. And I'm happy. I've been trying to lie less and less to him and I'm glad. Makes me feel happier.  
  
"Is that so?" Sometimes, I think he's in love with that sentence. I hear it out of his mouth at least once a day. But the same can be said with me with the 'yes'. It's just my reaction to say yes all the time... I guess.  
  
"Normally, you'd be living like this everyday, working in the fields and eating what you picked."  
  
A pause and he put his bowl down. For a second, I was afraid that it was something I said that was wrong, but I was quickly proven that it was not when he started talking. "After coming here, I've done a lot of thinking... I thought I was swinging my sword to protect Mitsurugi Ryu..." A pause again, "...To protect the happiness of helpless people, but I was only trying to convince myself that this is true." He takes a deep breath of air, "But I realize all I can do is protect this simple lifestyle. Now I know personally about happiness. Living in the country with you, I could clearly examine why I thought and why I will in the future. You taught me the answer."  
  
I feel myself a bit shocked. At him revealing all this, I realized it was hard for him. But more shocking, he had said that I had taught him the answer. In return for that talk he gave me about his thoughts, I think it's only fair that I tell you my past. "May I speak a little too?"  
  
"Huh? Aa..."  
  
"My home town was in Edo, my father works hard, but he's a nice person. My mother was sickly and she died shortly after giving birth to Toshiko, my sister. I'm both a sister and a mother to the both of them. Enishi's a sweet little brother. We weren't rich, but we lived peaceful lives." I took a deep breath, "I was set to marry a middle class son who was my childhood friend..." I saw Kenshin's shock and his eyes widen, "My brother was a little upset, but otherwise, everything was going smoothly."  
  
I felt my hand grip my kimono hard, he was after all, my fiancé... "Before the wedding, he went to Kyoto. I couldn't hear a word about him, so I went to Kyoto to look for him... But I met you. That's what happened." I looked at the top I find Kenshin playing a night all the time. Sorry... Sorry, I will... Protect you, Kenshin. I looked outside and see snow coming down, sparkling. Yes, sparkling. If you ever look at snow closely under a light, you can see it shine. I can stand there all night long looking at them.  
  
* * * * *  
  
I guess it's another day after work. We're walking back home now, the roads were covered with snow and I was having trouble walking. Kenshin in front didn't seem to be bothered by the snow, at all. Surely, we were talking more and more to each other, but the walking distance was just as bad. Usual distance. It was better in Kyoto before we left for Otsu. Either way, I'm happy, I guess.  
  
"We'll be there soon." That's good, I feel my foot going numb. I smiled inwardly as I remembered that it was him again that started a conversation.  
  
"Hai." There goes my favourite word again.  
  
"This is it for this year." I looked at him, puzzled. No, I did not have any idea what he was talking about. "The next time we go will be after the snow melts." He said. Oh, so that's what he's talking about. "If this life style continues until next year." For a second there, I thought I heard him say that regretfully and I truly think I didn't dream that. After all these month of living together, I knew what he felt. He never liked killing... He had one of the purest heart in the Ishin shishi, even though he never showed anyone... But he was given the worst job of all. If I had a choice, I rather someone else took his place. Suddenly, my foot was just too numb and I fell down. I was breathing hard, it was cold and even colder when your rear was touching the snow.  
  
Kenshin extended his hand towards me, "If you don't hurry... You'll catch a cold." He looked away, a light pink blushing barely visible was on his face and he said something that had shocked me, "Ore wa... Kimi wo... Kimi wo mamoru." I gasped a bit and felt my face burn... At that very second, all I wanted to do was embrace him tightly. And I did, he returned the embrace slowly. I felt his breath on my ear and he pulled away from the embrace.  
  
"We really should get home first. If we don't get home soon, we'll catch hypothermia." I nodded and let him hold my hand as he lead me back home. Home... He had called the place where we lived home for the very first time.  
  
Kimi wo mamoru - I will protect you.  
  
XenoMark - Arigatou! I hope he's even closer now ^^ And yes, we all love the rurouni... I even love the battousai. He's simply too cool!  
  
DiaBLo - I'm pretty sure it's called a uwagi. Or that's what my friend that learns Japanese says. Correct me if I'm wrong.  
  
Blizzard - I see it's the first time you reviewed. Thanks!  
  
True Love - First time to review too! ^^  
  
Author's Notes : Next update should be up within a week, hopefully. Next updated will be 'The Difference Between Rain and Tears'. Probably tomorrow or the day after that, since I'm already three pages through. There should be some major change for this whole story line soon. Open to suggestions and ideas! Thanks all! 


	10. Betrayal

Chapter 10

By Crystal

*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*

I looked at my husband, thoughts going through my head...  When he had embrace me today, I felt safe...  But I felt guilty.  Towards Kiyosato...  The thoughts I've had a while after I met Kenshin...  He died someplace where I wasn't and with him, disappeared my happiness.  I couldn't hold onto the happiness that was right in front of me.  It was my fault for not expressing my feelings...  If I'd been brave...  Then...The more I think that, the more I have to hate something, or someone...  And I choose the murderer.  I came on a mission...  to kill you, Battousai.  And yet, you want to protect such a woman...

Why...?  I don't understand...  Why?  I see him look at me strangely and for the second time that day, I have the strongest urge to hug him...  And he welcomed me freely.  I felt his arms tighten around me and for a second there, I swear I was the happiest woman on the entire planet...

My fiancé was a middle class worker like my father, but he was so nice and he worked so hard.  I was loved that about him.  I was so happy when he chose me to be his wife...  But all I could do was stare wide eyed at him.  That may be why I couldn't tell him how happy I was...

I felt my yukata slide off me and your yukata falling off you...  I love you, Kenshin.  I really do.  Sometimes, I wish I had met you sooner...  And I wish you were never a hitokiri...  Then, maybe, we would have different endings...  I love you...  I really do...  I felt your flawless skin...  Warmth seeped through my body as we made love.  I felt you inside me...  After a while, I rested on your shoulder and you held me close.  So close...  And then, I was happy.  But I knew I did not deserve this...  I betrayed Kiyosato by marrying you...  And I betrayed you, by being a spy.  Maybe...  I had no right to be happy...

"You make it rain blood."  I looked up at my husband, the man I love.  "That's what you said when we first met."  I'm glad you remembered, anata...  "You also said that there's no happiness to be had from killing people..."  I nodded my head against your shoulder.  "But I will kill people in the future.  A new time is coming.  I will kill until then, but when that time comes, I will stop killing.  I want to protect the happiness of each person I see and rid myself of my sins.  If I have you, I can throw away my sword..."  Was what he saying really true?  He would rather be with me and throw away his sword?  The only thing he has been relying on for his whole life?  Was I...  Really that important to him?  "Tomoe..."

I looked up in surprised, "Hai?"

"Kimi wo, shiawase wa, ore wa mamoru..."  He said, a slight blush on cheeks again.

I felt my eyes widen and my heart beating, "Hai..."  I said.  My heart was about to burst...  If a while ago I had said I was the happiest woman alive, I was wrong.  It was now...

"After all this...  I will return to you...  And I will protect."  I smiled at him and gave him a kiss on the lips.  He kissed back passionately and after a few minutes, I snuggled back into Kenshin's arms and rested my head on his shoulder again.  Safe...  And warm.  Perhaps...  I did have a right to be happy...  Perhaps...

* * * * *

'October 19, 1864

It's been a whole month since that day.  We visit the village weekly and Kenshin plays with the kids all the time.  It's fun watching them...  Kenshin has finally noticed my smile too.  Everytime he sees me smile, his face breaks into a smile.  He then comes and hugs me, sometimes even giving me a kiss...  I love Kenshin.  I went to the doctor's today...  And...  I'm pregnant.  I really don't know what to say to him.  Kenshin...  You're a father?  Or should I say, Kenshin, I'm pregnant.  You were playing with Toku-kun today and I cannot help but think if that's how you are going to treat our child.  Play with him all the time and spoil him?  Whenever I see you and Toku-kun playing, I picture him as our child.  With flaming red hair like his father, those violet eyes...  Even a short ponytail tied up...  A boy, definitely a boy...  Kenji.  Our son would be named Kenji.  Ken after his father...  What do you say, anata?'

I smiled slightly and felt myself embraced from behind.  I closed my journal slowly and tilted my head back, kissing Kenshin on the lips.  "What are you doing, staying up so late, koishii?"

I closed my eyes and sighed, satisfied with the warmth.  "Writing in my journal, as you can see, anata."

"All right, I'm going to bed right now.  Good night."  I felt the warmth leaving and I snapped my eyes open.

"Kenshin...  I...  Come over here...  Onegai?"  She asked, pleadingly.

He came up to me and sat down behind me, wrapping his arms around me.  A month ago, he would never have done that.  And I was happy.  For once in my life, I was happy.  But...  It wasn't the first time I felt guilty about it.  Though I pushed the feeling away.  "What's wrong, koishii?  You sound worried."

I tried talking, but a lump was in my throat.  Swallowing was just making it worst.  "Kenshin...  I..."  I saw him frown slightly and his eyes were slightly amber already...  "I..."  Darn it...  I hated it when I couldn't talk...  He turned me around.

"What's wrong Tomoe?  Is someone hurting you?"  His voice was cold and so unfamiliar to me...  Maybe months ago, I wouldn't mind, but now I did.  Instead of being scared and mad though, I was happy.  It shows that he's still keeping his promise...  He has been since the past month.

"No!"  I said, "I'm just..."  He frowned, "Kenshin...  I'm pregnant."

His eyes widen in shock and a minute later, they return to their original size.  "Is it mine...?"  I nodded quietly.  "I'm...  going to be a father...?"  He asked, unbelievably and I smiled.

"Hai, anata..."

"What...  What are we going to name the girl...  Or boy?"  Kenshin asked.

I smiled, "I was hoping for a boy, then he'd look like his father.  Kenji...  Himura Kenji.  What do you think, anata?"

"I think that's a great name."  He moved forward and embraced me again.  I felt his head on top of mine, sniffing my scent.

"Aishiteru...  Kenshin."

I felt him stiffen a bit, then relax.  "Aishiteru Tomoe...  Zutto."  We then went to sleep in our futon.  It took a while for me to actually get him to sleep in the futon, but he got used to it after a while.  I was so comfortable lying there with his arms wrapped around me and my head on his chest, hearing his every breath and every beat of his heart.  For now, I was contented...  Until...  I saw a paper flutter down and on it, was written in black ink...

_'Yukishiro_

The time is up.'

I don't get it...  Why is it every time I'm totally happy, something comes and snatches it away from me?  Why?!  I don't get it...  Why?  When I was happy with Kiyosato...  Kenshin took him away from me.  When I was happy with Kenshin, my revenge took him away from me...  Life sucked...  I closed my eyes and breathed in the smell of sandalwood deeply.  My love...  My husband...  The father of my son...  The father of Kenji.  I had promised myself that I would protect him with my life...  The first day that we went to sell medicine.  The first day as the wife of the medicine seller.  It seemed so long ago, yet it was only around three months...

How long was it that I had met him?  Around nine months.  It felt so long, yet it was less than an year.  I snuggled up next to him one last time...  And stood up.  Looking around the whole house, where I had spent the last few months of my life here.  I felt my eyes water...  And closed my eyes, hoping tears wouldn't fall.  I love him.  I always will, until the end of time.

'October 19, 1864 (continuation)

I'm sorry, anata... But I hope, someday, you will forgive me.  No matter what happens, I will always love you.  Aishiteru, Kenshin.  Zutto.  If I die, I will watch over you in heaven...  Kenji and I.  I'm sorry about Kenji...  I know you wanted to create life instead of destroy it.  I'm afraid I can't do that for you...  But, I can't break my own promise of protecting you.  I will protect you...  When you die...  I'll welcome you with open arms...

Aishiteru...  Second man to love me.  Aishiteru, anata.  Thank you, for giving me another happiness.  I forgive you...  about killing Kiyosato.'

I look at my husband who was still sleeping in our futon...  This is the person who stole my happiness and gave me another happiness.  Good bye...  Second man to love me.  I folded my shawl and put it next to you and left my journal lying on the table.  I wanted you to know everything...  But...  When I left my journal...  I took your top.  I hope you don't mind...

* * * * *

My mind was in turmoil, walking up the snow covered trail.  My feet making footsteps very time I stepped down.  Half an hour later, I see a wooden house...  I pushed open the door and saw Tatsumi.  "Why did you get Enishi involved?"

"That kid who was asking around about his sister...  Those above brought him.  He is in the same situation as you."  He said, turning his back to me.

"Where are the others?"

"Scattered around the mountains.  They are waiting for him."

"Without hearing my news?"  I asked, irritated.

"News?"  A pause, "Oh yes, regarding the weakness of Hitokiri Battousai.  We don't need it anymore."

I frowned slightly and said quietly, "What have I gone through all the trouble for..."  What were they going to do?  To Kenshin?  Without his weakness?

"That's right.  No matter how cold a killer he may be, there is not a single soul who does not want a conversation.  His greatest weakness right now is you.  He is on his way here now.  Now that he knows the woman he loves is a traitor, his heart must be in chaos.  He probably is unable to draw from his true inner strength right now.  This is our true goal.  Do you understand now?

"You knew that from the beginning..."  You know that from the beginning he would fall in love for me...  And I would be his weakness.  I felt my blood boil with anger.  Cowards...  These people were cowards.

"What are you going to do about it?"  I reached my tanto, suddenly, he disappeared right in front of me and I felt myself let go of my tanto and pushed on the floor.  A metallic smell in my mouth.  Liquid coming from the corner of my mouth.  Blood.  "Foolish of you.  But you can't help it.  People's desires are powerful.  The stronger they are, the more beyond one's control they become.  Perhaps the gap between love and hate is paper thin.  This is the fate of people.  In the face of fate, anyone is but an infant."

My legs and stomach hurts from that push he gave me.  But I pushed myself up nonetheless.  It was slow...  and painful.  "You know that much from the beginning."  Yet, at that very second, I decided something...  I wanted to die.  Right then.  I tried biting my tongue, but Tatsumi saw me.  He stuffed his fingers in my mouth.

"Do not do it.  It takes much determination to bite off your own tongue."  My mouth was filled with blood, I smelt it, I tasted it.  "Even if you killed yourself, what will you gain?"  Freedom would be what I gain.  At that very moment...  There was a large explosion somewhere near the bottom of the mountains.

A single thought filled my mind.  _Kenshin..._

Kimi wo, shiawase wa, ore wa mamoru – I will protect your happiness

**XenoMark – **The next chapter is the end of the whole series of the OVA.  But it's not going to end yet.  I might either end it there and make a sequel or continue it.  Tell me what I should do! ^^

**Kalus – **It'll tell you whether Tomoe dies or not in two chapters.  

**Emotionless Shadow –** You'll just have to see whether it ends a happy ending or not.  I don't think I want to spoil it yet.  And I have a few stuff for the next chapters I haven't thought about it.  So...  I hope to see you review my next chapter!

**Tomoe Ayanami – **We'll have to see, we'll have to see.  Arigatou for the review!

Author's Notes:  ****IMPORTANT****  **I don't know whether I should end it after the series of OVA and make a sequel, or should I just keep writing this fic?  I really need this idea!  Thanks!******


	11. Blood and White Plums

Chapter 11

By Crystal

*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*

I looked back at Tatsumi with the emotionless eyes that I haven't used for a month.  I was hoping he didn't see the worry I had for Kenshin.  I knew Kenshin could kill them with no problems...  But can he now, when his mind is in turmoil?  Can he?  "If you want to kill yourself, it is your decision.  But have you not forgotten the beginnings, as to why Kiyosato had to die."  I gritted my teeth.  Hearing them say this wasn't exactly making me too happy.  "Who was Kiyosato to you?  Was he not the one you cared for dearly?  At least you were the one that he cared for deeply."  I did care for Kiyosato...  But he had to leave...  

He didn't understand me.  I cared a lot for him...  But Kenshin understood me better.  The person coming to get me is my husband.  I am his wife.  Kiyosato is my past, this is now.  And Kenshin is now and hopefully the future.  Mother...  She would be proud of me.  I cared for him...  I still will.  But he is not my husband, nor was he ever.  "Otherwise, having no confidence in his martial skills, he would not have come out to the capital in the midst of anarchy.  He risked his life to make you happy."  

Finally, I couldn't stand it.  What kind of crap was that?  He risked my life to make me happy?  Why would I be happy if his life was on the line?  Why?  "I just wanted him near me...  Just to be near me."  I said quietly.  I didn't want him to go to the war...  But he did.  Did Kiyosato ever thought that he could have died?  Did he ever think what was on my mind?  Did he ever know I was worried for him?  Did he ever?  No, of course not.  He only had one thing set on his mind.  And that was to make me happy.  At the end, what he did didn't make me happy...  It made me sad.

"That is the fate of man.  To make his woman happy, he must secure his home, his village and finally this world of the Tokugawa clan.  There can be no family bliss without a peaceful world.  Thus we have supported the 300 years of the Tokugawa lineage of great peace...  That even if it were the slightest disturbance, we would quell it.  That is our fate...  We are protecting the happiness of the people, with our very lives."  A pause.  "Do you understand?  All of us men with deep fates...  And by virtue of this predestined fate, we live or we die."  We live... or we die...  Is just like you kill or be killed...  The very philosophy Kenshin thinks of now...  Or before...  "It is the fate of men.  Thus to protect the Tokugawa lineage, we will defeat him."  If you want to defeat him, then you'll have to go through me.

"He himself is under the sway of fate.  There is no one who doesn't make a mistake."  Of course there's no one like that.  No one's perfect.  "Remember the one who you cared deeply for...  Remember Kiyosato."  I doubt that I will forget him.  I don't think I'll forget Kenshin either, since he **did** promise me he was going to come back to me after the whole revolution is over and after he stops killing...  He even said he was going to protect people.  'I want to protect the happiness of each person I see and rid myself of my sins' was what he said.  I remember well.  Suddenly, another loud explosion was heard and I turned my head towards the sound.  Nearer this time.  At least I knew Kenshin was safe...  For now.

I looked back at him, "It has taken eight months and many victims.  But all this is understood.  I will assuredly get him."  I won't let you...  No way...  "This is the way to make amends for Kiyosato...  For the feudal government and for the many who have given their lives...  This is the only way that their deaths would not be in vain.  You witness this with your own eyes."  No...  I refuse to let you kill Kenshin...  The only thing I will want to witness with my own eyes...  Is when Kenshin stops killing and starts to protect.  That will be the only thing I want to see right now.  I don't want to see any more deaths then there is.  But I guess...  The war is unavoidable...  After the war...  I will make sure Kenshin doesn't kill anymore.  Kenshin could beat this guy in front of me.  Of course he can...  Of course...  "Such would do honour to Kiyosato, who dies trying to protect your happiness."  But...  he failed and ruined it instead.  The only person who tried protecting my happiness was Kenshin...

I hear footsteps from outside the cabin and I look out.  Flaming red hair, bleeding scar...  Blood all over him.  Injuries all over.  The hope I had in Kenshin winning had vanished and was replaced with fear.  Fear that he would die in front of me.  Pure fear.  He looked weak, using his sword and sheath for support.  He even had trouble standing up.  I saw Tatsumi walk out and I glared at his back.

"Your appearance as I see it, is that of a man who has used up all his strength to arrive here.  You might be the Battousai, but fighting with no one to protect is indeed cruel.  You had no one to protect from the beginning anyways...  But we do."  Tatsumi was a sadistic bastard...  Saying that before a fight...  Now, I had more anger than fear.  Kenshin had already been in turmoil, his heart already been torn, yet, Tatsumi had to tear it up more.  As if he wasn't hurt enough.  "In the name of our feudal government, I must now conclude this matter and at the same time, I will avenge my losses.  That would be the one way I can make amend for not being able to protect them.  I see him holding that shawl...  My shawl and for some reason, I'm happy.  He must be hurt badly...  All the blood...  That very second, I wanted to run over to him and embrace him...

Without another second, I heard the sound of battle.  I couldn't stand it.  Kenshin was being beaten up.  I put my hands to my ears, blocking all sounds out and shut my eyes closed, not wanting to see anymore nor see anymore.  I didn't want him hurt.  When I closed my eyes, I saw flashbacks...  Of the past months...  Since I've met him.  In the restaurant with the moronic drunks, in the alley where he made it rain blood, when he held his sword at my throat, at the Gion Festival...  The soft kisses he gave me, the warm embraces, the words that could melt my heart.  He innocent glow in his eyes when he was thinking of me...  The intense amber eyes that scare me, even now.  And yet...  I promised to myself that even if I put myself at risk.  I will protect him.  He had promised to protect me and in return, I will protect him.

I watch from the door...  The final blow...  Both of them getting ready, and I pushed the door open hard.  I heard Kenshin scream his war cry and then...  My decision was made a long time ago and it was made again now.  There was no way I would back out of it.  I was going to protect Kenshin...  Or die trying.  Either way was fine.  I didn't want to feel guilty with Kenshin.  I put him in this mess and I was going to get him out.  I ran up to my husband as fast as my legs could carry me and stood in the middle of the two of them with my back turned to him.  Tatsumi brought my tanto down and I held his hand above my head with a bit of difficulty.  I'll be damned if I let him lay a finger on Kenshin.  At that very moment, I felt more pain that I ever had...  It was coming from a little below my left shoulder.  My husband stabbed through my heart to Tatsumi's heart...

I saw blood gush out and I felt numb.  "I don't understand women..."  Was Tatsumi's last words.  Then I fell back, my legs could no longer carry my body and gave up.  I fell back towards Kenshin's leg.  Here, I fainted and the last thing I heard was Kenshin calling my name out non-stop.

A little while later, I woke up, staring up at the face of my beloved.  His scar was bleeding and tears were leaking out of his eyes freely.  He didn't look like he wanted to stop them.  I wiped both the blood and tears off his face while humming a song my mother taught me.  It was painful.  Really.  He stabbed through my heart, yet, I was still living.  And surprisingly, I wasn't mad, but happy.  I felt myself get weaker every second.  I saw his scar...  The scar Kiyosato gave him.  I took my tanto from the snow, the blood dyed snow and crossed Kenshin's scar.  Completing a cross scar.  Telling him that Kiyosato was wrong.  I wasted to tell him that so much and that Kiyosato was wrong.  But...  I was so tired.  I looked at the pure white snow falling down.  Soon, it would be dyed in my blood.

I remembered reading a book like this when I was small.  A romance novel.  It was called 'Blood and White Plums'.  Fits us well, doesn't it?  At the end, the woman's beloved killed her by accident...  It ends with telling the readers that the woman saw darkness.  I assumed she died anyways.  Maybe she didn't?  I don't know.  Perhaps, I see.  If I survive, then I'll definitely think that the main character in the book survived.  If I die...  Well, I was right all along.  I think I saw that book in Kenshin's room too.  That day when he held his sword by my throat.  You know?  I grimaced inwardly.  This hurt a lot.  I wonder if Kenshin ever read that book?

"Blood... and... White Plums..."  I see his eyes widen a bit.  I knew, he read that book.  Was our love going to end like that?  Most likely.  I knew my time on earth was almost up.  How I knew?  I don't know.  I just felt it, I guess.  I took a breath, the freezing air made it painful.  "Anata...  It's...  it's better this way...  Gomen...  na... sai...  A...na...ta..."  I wanted so much to wipe the fresh tears from his eyes...  Instead, he wiped my fresh tears.  My eyelids felt so heavy I could barely open them up any longer, let alone wipe the tears away from his face.  The last scene I saw was Kenshin with snow slowly coming down behind him, towards me.  I knew that was going to be the last thing I ever saw.  As I have said before.  It felt right.  Then, slowly, I smiled at him...  And I saw him smile back.  A sad smile, nonetheless, a smile.  A smile through his tears.  "Ai...shi...te...ru...  Ken...shin..."  Finishing the thing I wanted to say most, I closed my eyes slowly...  I closed my eyes one... last... time...  I heard Kenshin say...

_Aishiteru, Tomoe.  Zutto._

_Darkness..._

XenoMark – Arigatou!

Blueraingurl – Thanks!

(no name) – Yeah, Tomoe always dies in other fics.

Heaven's Child - ...*coughs*  We'll see.

Tomoe Ayanami – Thanks for the reviews!

Author's Notes: I know I changed the whole story line from 6 to 8 months.  And that was so depressing.  I almost cried while writing this!  Well, not really, but near it.  I think I've decided on a sequel...  I'm pretty sure it'll be a sequel...  Later all!  And this chapter took me less than a day to finish because I had so many ideas for it.  Anyhow, later all!


	12. Thanks to

Arigatou to...  ^^;;

XenoMark – Who's done nothing but give me ideas, help me and tell me that my story was good.  He also stayed with me throughout the whole story.  Thanks!

Heaven's child – Who gave me LOTS of reviews ^^

DiaBLo – Who I thank a lot for all those reviews and comments!

Yui Shinomori – Thanks for staying with me for such a long time!  It's all right, not everyone is as free as me =P

Tomoe Ayanami – A great K/T fic writer!  Only that it's in Portuguese, but that doesn't matter.  I read her fic nonetheless ^^

AnimeFreak – Thanks for cheering me on at the beginning, even if you didn't post up reviews, that doesn't matter.  Hope you were reading it though.

Blueraingurl – Great K/T fic writer also ^^  Keep writing on your fic, I'll be waiting ^^  Thanks for reading.

Shuro – Thanks for staying with me for the beginning and I hoped you read it, even if you didn't give reviews!

Kalus –We'll still have to see if Tomoe dies soon though ^^  We'll see in the sequels.  Seems like no one wants her dead though.  Thanks for the reviews!

Tiian – Thanks for the comments about the stars ^^

Misao – Arigatou!  It's true there's not enough K/T fics...  But that'll have to do.

Emotionless Shadow – We'll have to see how it ends in the sequel ^^

Blizzard – Thanks also!

True Love – Arigatou!

Devil – Thanks!

No name people – Thanks to those who didn't use a name or sign on.  But that's fine.  It's great knowing that you guys read my fic too ^^

I really appreciated that a lot of you took time to review my fic, which makes my day.  Really.  Yes, really.  I'm serious ^^;;  It's also fine if you didn't review, but anyways, I hoped everyone of you that has read my fic enjoys it!  I hope you look forward to the sequel.  I haven't gotten a name for it yet, but I hope I have one soon!  Ja ne, minna-san!


End file.
